The Misadventures of Bass
by lunateix
Summary: Bass is the most powerful Robot Master in existence. At least that's what he tells himself. Join him on his ego trip through the average days of a Robot Master in Wily's Castle.
1. This is my life

Some Author's Notes: Welcome to The Misadventures of Bass. I made the first episode a while back and did nothing with it. Now I have the need to just share it. This morning, I thought, "Gee, wouldn't it be convenient to put this somewhere where people come to read fiction?" and well...here ya go.

I'm a sucker for reviews and comments

I don't own Megaman or any characters...nor Batman...nor Transformers...nor Teen Titans...just read and you'll understand

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"Okay, let's see…I think I have all I need…countless fodder robots, weird techno music, needless dungeons that I'll only use once but probably cost me billions of dollars to design, really crappy and easily solvable traps and puzzles that will only serve to annoy Megaman, those neat helmets of him that give him extra lives, eight powerful, yet easily destroyable Robot Masters that will only serve to make Megaman stronger, my giant skull-shaped robot that only takes damage if I'm hit in the face…to which I'll readily expose, and my egg ship…'cause I like the classics."

That is my boss…the 'ingenious' Dr. Wily. Me, I'm Bass, the most powerful Robot Master…EVER. If anyone tries to tell you otherwise, they're just jealous of my INCREDIBLE power. Especially Megaman. Just because he continually wins and I've yet to actually DEFEAT him does NOT mean he's stronger than me!

I'd just come online and went for a cup of coffee-don't ask why I can drink coffee-and he was already starting the day like usual…like an idiot.

"Dr. Wily," I started, "What are you doing? It's 5am…" "Ahh, Bass! Good to see you awake! I'm going to destroy Megaman today and TAKE OVER THE WORLD! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Putting my hand over my face as he stood there laughing like a moron, I sighed and said, "Dr., please…all you're gonna do is wake up the others and I'm not ready yet for another day of unmitigated stupidity. I mean by now you know the drill, you're gonna attack Megaman, he's gonna take ONE look at your robots, blow them to hell, steal their powers, and whoop your ass again. Give it up already." "WHAT?" I guess I stirred something in him. He'd stopped his maniacal tirade and stared at me like I'd taken an exhaust leak on the pope or something.

"How DARE you even CONSIDER my surrender to that freaky, little, blue boy!" he barked at me. "Dr. Wily, that 'freaky, little, blue boy' has been kicking your ass for years, it's time to give it up." Dr. Wily did that thing he does, you know, that whole holding his hands up in the air, letting his eyes roll back into his head, that continuous bobbing of his body, that thing where he just starts laughing uncontrollably with his mouth horrendously open…god I hate organics.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'll show you Bass! Today is the day I'll defeat MEGAMAN! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Yeah, these were those opportunities where I could bring his idiocy to my advantage. I narrowed my eyes and stared at him. "Really, how much you wanna bet?" I asked, quickly grabbing his attention. "Huh, what's this Bass? You question me?" "Only every day I'm functioning properly." I smirked, I so love pushing Wily's buttons.

"Very well, I'll take your bet, but when I defeat Megaman, YOU'LL have to suffer Crashman's cooking!" Ugh…somehow…Crashman has the third highest kill ratio of Robot Masters, next to Skullman and me on a bad day...I mean, we do have to eat, mainly because Dr. Wily's a MORON and thought it'd be a good idea. We pick who cooks through the luck of draw and somehow Crashman's cooking is so bad that it usually triggers…I dunno, some sort of self-destruct mechanism in us. "Fine Wily," I said, "But when you come back with a hole in your head thanks to a buster shot, I get to lead the next scheme to rule the world!"

"YOU, take over the world?" Yech, he did that laughing thing again. See, this is what I don't get about you organics. No natural defenses, no built-in weapons, you're basically monkeys with half the capabilities and somehow you consider yourselves higher then…well…ME. "Yes, Dr. Wily, I could most certainly conquer this planet a lot easier then you could." I sipped my coffee and held out a complacent hand to him-I could smell another bet in the future…

Aggravated I guess, Dr. Wily took everything he packed and left the castle…which…means I was in charge…yet AGAIN. Yeesh, the Robot Masters, aside from yours truly, have the combined intellect of some mentally challenged four year old!

I had taken a step out to the living room-Yes, yes, we have a living room-and Cutman was already…ugh…trying to stick his scissors in an electrical socket. A slight glance to the left and I saw Plantman and Fireman talking…plant and fire, this wouldn't turn out well.

Apparently Fireman said something funny because Plantman laughed and patted him on the back…or…TRIED to and it might have worked if that flaming top of Fireman's didn't catch Plantman's arm on fire. Now me, being the RESPONSIBLE Robot Master, did the mature thing.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BURN PLANTMAN, BURN! BURN you miserable excuse for a robotic chia pet!" Now, granted the other Robot Masters were laughing, but none of them were doing it quite as hard as I was…what? I enjoy seeing others suffer, it's like…one of the few perks of my day.

Once again, Robot Master stupidity comes into play. That arrogant bastard Tenguman had heard the screaming and had deployed that crappy tri-star thingy and said "Don't worry, I, TENGUMAN, shall blow the flames away!" Plantman started waving his arms like it wasn't necessary, naturally sending embers in all directions, putting more things on fire, including Dr. Wily's self portrait...yay. "Nonsense Plantman, I, TENGUMAN, shall save you! TORNADO HOLD!"

Now, and pay attention, this was brilliant, he doesn't blow the flames out…he FANS them. Now even MORE of Plantman is on fire AND Woodman's now on fire. Boy, I would have been laughing at that scene for hours if Aquaman hadn't come along. Granted Plantman and Woodman are nothing but fine ashes right now, but at least They'll get put back together when Wily gets back. Whether he'll be too depressed or not to actually get on them RIGHT AWAY, I can't say for sure.

Two Robot Masters dead thanks to one of Fireman's crappy jokes and Tenguman's big head, the closing chance to lead my own mission to conquer the world, and the fact that no one's asked me about my coffee addiction all day…things were looking up…then HE showed up.

"Oh Bass honey, there you are!"

Ugh…Starman. Let me fill you in on Starman. First off, his original name was Heartman…PINK Heartman. All his powers really did was make floating, pink hearts appear…they didn't really do anything, but they made great nightlights for Pharaohman-something about being locked in a coffin makes him freak out in the dark. Wait a tic, I'm ranting off-topic…anyways, how did Pink Heartman end up coming to be?

Well he came first, so I'm a little iffy on the specifics. All I know is it involved drinking, mushrooms, Donkey Kong, and an eye-patch. When I was first activated, it wasn't because Wily had turned me on…note to self, never say that again…but it was because HEARTMAN was STROKING me…Jesus!

We would leave on hard, brutal missions and come back to the castle to see pink hearts floating about and Elton John music playing…not to mention Michael Jackson kept coming over…and some of the larger Robot Masters (Usually Gutsman or Hardman) would wake up and their USB ports were sticky. I don't wanna know.

Anyways, I personally led the petition to get his name and powers changed, although Dr. Wily figured his personality was fine and decided to leave it. Did I mention I hate organics? "Oh Bass!" Starman was standing behind me, I turned and saw him doing that…ugh…that whole hand on hip while shaking said hips thing. I sighed, "What is it Starman?" "I hear you're taking bets with Dr. Wily again!"

Oh boy, word travels fast through this place. "Yes, and I'm going to win…naturally." I gave a V for Victory sign in triumph when he replied, "Oh Bass…you have so much arrogance, sooner or later you're gonna lose to his bets and you'll end up having to clean Dustman or worse, eat Crashman's cooking!"

Dustman sucks and blows air like a big vacuum cleaner on crack. Worst of all, he doesn't really have a bag to collect the dust, so it just kinda gets clogged in there. He's built to take it, but only so much, so one of us has to clean the big lug. It's usually Wily since no one cares about his dust allergies and the dust is enough to clog us and shut us down. Still, every now and then, Wily makes one of us clean him as punishment.

Then there's Crashman's cooking again. EVERYONE knows how bad Crashman's cooking is. Well, it all started out with Crashman cooking a thanksgiving feast for Dr. Wily. He figured he could do it since he thought he did such a great job with the Robot Masters-and not to make fun of Crashman, I think most Robot Masters have this problem, seeing as how the majority of us lack taste buds-well Dr. Wily takes one bite out of the turkey, looks at Crashman, and locks off the kitchen to all Robot Masters under level one clearance. That means only me, Enker, Quint, and Punk can get in…this means that one of us MUST be present for ANYONE to cook, which means more annoyances for me.

"The bet _IS_ for Crashman's cooking." Starman's jaw dropped to my statement and to put his mind at ease, I said, "It's fine, the bet IS whether or not he can beat MEGAMAN." Sure I consoled him even though I hate him. It's better than him crying and asking for a hug.

Starman instantly regained himself. "Oh," I think he was batting his eyes at me, "Well then it looks like your sweet, sizzling bacon is safe for another day." My sweet, sizzling bacon? What the hell is this guy's problem? My SWEET, SIZZLING BACON? The guy might as well strip down to his circuits, paint himself in rainbow effect, and run down screaming in a city, calling himself Captain One Eyed Goblin...okay, yeah, I'm biased of him. He stares at my bare circuits when I'm taking a sonic shower, he has a small chibi doll of me he SLEEPS with, and at the Christmas party, he just outright came on to me…can you blame me? My sweet, sizzling bacon, really! Did he just say that? He did, I'm going to have to kill him one day. Not the normal way where Dr. Wily rebuilds him, but a permanent way where it's so bad that when Dr. Wily tries, he comes back as an iPod.

I thought I might have to suffer the indignity of having to spend…TIME with Starman, when Skullman and Astroman came barging in.

There's one rule for hanging out with either of them…DON'T. Astroman's scared of his own shadow…if you BLINK, he'll have a panic attack…though that does make him funny to pick on when you're bored. That…and when he gets talking…he gets talking fast and you don't know what the hell kind of gibberish is spewing out of his mouth…

As for Skullman…he's not funny to make fun of, he's dangerous to make fun of. He has the highest kill ratio for Robot Masters…it's not Megaman, it's HIM…he kills the ones that haven't even HEARD of Megaman yet, let alone seen him. I mean turn your back on him and he's gonna rip your spine out and strangle you with it…then…stab you to death with it…-Sigh- poor, poor Kendoman.

Anyways, it didn't take more then one second to have Astroman start babbling, naturally making me wish I had ears so they could bleed. It probably would have helped me deal with his incessant rambling…

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, ohmygosh!" Oh god, here it comes. Here comes that insane rambling that just goes on and on and on with no relief in sight. "SKULLMANKILLEDCOILMANANDSLASHMANTHENHIDT HEIRBODIESINTHECOMPOSTHEAPFORTHEGARDENOU TBACKOHGODOHGODOHGOD!"

I sighed and backhanded him with my buster. "BREATHE!" he screamed, "WHY IS IT SO HARD TO BREATHE?" I had to smack him again. "You DON'T breathe, you idiot!" "OH GOD! I'M DEAD! DEAR GOD! I…I…I KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COMENOWI'LLNEVERKNOWTRUELOVEANDWILLHAVETOHAUNTWIL YCASTLEFORALLETERNITY!" Skullman perked at the sound of death, to which I cast him a glare that made even him shrink back in fear.

Then I hit Astroman again. He needed it, I needed it, I needed to do it again regardless of how he was. "Now Astroman, calm down and put spaces between your words." That should be simple enough, I mean he should be getting tired with all that rambling. "Skullman…killed Coilman and Slashman…and hid…hid their bodies…in the compost heap out back…oh god, oh god, ohgodohgodohgod…" "WHAT?" started Skullman as I stared at him with bewilderment. I mean I knew he was nuts, so I shouldn't look so shocked, but ah well. "They were ASKING me to kill them!"

Robot Masters asking to be killed…that doesn't work out here, half the Robot Masters here are scared to go outside because they think Megaman's gonna pop out of the sidewalk and rip them a new processor, so I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes at him, "Really? Did they look at you and say 'Please Skullman, kill us, we don't want to live anymore!' or was it something else?" "Well…" he looked off to the side, "They didn't say to kill them…as much…as…okay, yeah, I took them out back and drowned them in pure coolant."

I can't believe who I'm surrounded by…"And Astroman's wrong! I didn't just BURY them…I also ripped their heads off and shoved them on pikes so I could display them in the front yard for all the world to see…" I checked the HUD on my buster…it was only 9:15am. This was gonna be a LONG day.

I had decided to make sure Skullman didn't kill anyone else that day by sticking him in a room with a few of those Green Devils. You know the kind, the ones that are made out of gel with that one big eye. Yeah, I still half expected him to gouge the eye out with something simplistic, like a damn toothbrush, but I had hope… as for Astroman…left him alone with Starman, problem solved.

I had gotten to my private spot in the castle, this neat one where you get a great view of the satellite dish and the deathrays. I had a picnic chair set up and I had leaned back into it with a fresh cup of coffee and my newspaper…when Swordman walked up to me looking terrible. "BASS!" he didn't wait to finish his words before throwing himself at my feet. "What'd you do this time, Swordman?" "I…they…oh god! I killed them! Turboman and Clownman and Dynamoman! I killed them!"

"Well," I shrugged off their deaths, "It's not like you did anything BAD…I mean…I hated them." "But they were my little buddies! We were chugging a little Vira-hol" booze for Robot Masters, strong stuff too…took down Gutsman for a week after he tried to chug a keg. "And well…we got a little giddy…and they wanted to brush their teeth…and put toothpaste on my sword…and I…I decapitated them!"

Okay, whoa. They put toothpaste…on his sword. They put TOOTHPASTE on his SWORD…there are no words to express how STUPID that is…"And they didn't use their OWN toothbrushes, why?" "Well they looked for them, but couldn't find them…" So it constitutes them pulling suicide…I'm starting to hate Robot Masters as much as I do organics…but I looked into that big idiot's eyes…god you can't hate Swordman, he's probably writing it off as a dishonorable kill and that's never good for his programming…

When it was his turn to fight Megaman, he was so blasted noble that he gave Megaman the first move…which turned out to be a fully-charged buster shot, so he was instantly destroyed…so I patted him on the shoulder, "It's okay Swordman, it's okay…besides, those Robot Masters sucked. I mean come on…Clownman was designed for reaching and grabbing, Dynamoman was like a sad attempt to remake Elecman, and Turboman…was just plain gay. It's not like the world is gonna end just because a few robot masters are killed." A few? Wow, how many were actually dead so far? And this wasn't even the afternoon yet…but I had to keep consoling him.

"For every one, TWO will take it's place and together, they'll both have HALF the original one's intellect." Swordman looked up to me, I guess I sparked a glimmer of hope or something…gotta work on that, HOPE…HAH! "Remember when Wily made Balloonman? Then he figured out that he needed to have Robot Masters tag-team Megaman so he had Balloonman fight Megaman…with Needleman? Remember, they shook hands, Balloonman popped, and apparently Wily had lined his inner surface with Nitroglycerin, because it all exploded? MANY Robot Masters died that day, including Treble…of course Dr. Wily almost immediately remade me a new one because I held him over a vat of boiling acid until he agreed to do it, but that's beside the point."

"So…if I hurt Dr. Wily, my friends will come back?" "THAT'S THE TICKET! HURT WILY!" Swordman looked happy enough and hobbled away with a grin on his face, the situation was gonna end bad, and I for one was gonna enjoy it.

Once again, reaching time to myself, I sighed and slumped back into my chair, it was about time I had some relief. Naturally one of the Robot Masters had something to complain about, so, and I don't know which one it was, I just shrugged and blew his blasted head off…then I started eating candy out of it.

The day ran pretty smooth at that point. Some of the other Robot Masters had Pharaohman chase Astroman around the castle for a while…then they chased him into Gutsman's room and he peeled Astroman's armor off like a banana peel and ate his CPU…god that was funny. Although…it was another kill in the list of Robot Masters for the day.

We found some weirdo who called himself Batman that tried to hang out with us…MAN, even Protoman could have killed that guy…and Protoman's useless. I mean seriously, he's like an even gayer Megaman, he doesn't even fight! He just warps into a stage and goes "I opened this door" or something STUPIDER, like coming to say "If you press up on a ladder, you can climb it!" Didn't anyone see that scene where he tried to challenge King one-on-one and King shrugged and chopped him in half? Granted he broke King's shield later on near the last fight, but COME ON, we ALL know he was charging that buster for DAYS and it ONLY broke the shield. He's better off at home, baking cookies with that airhead Roll. Running around with a flowing scarf, yeah, the signs are there, he's just another Starman, except he's still hiding in the closet…oh god, a Closetman.

Note to self, make sure Wily never invents Closetman, it will end in…well…I don't know, all I know is it won't end well for all parties involved. Normally misery is fun, but seeing as how I'll be one of the parties involved…no.

It was a good 2pm and I'd just woken up from a nap. A slight stretch, a discharge of the buster, wounding Shademan, and some quality time with Treble were all great. Heh, told Treble to fetch a bone, he came back with Skullman. Now Skullman just looked different, kinda creepier than he already was. "Oh Ba-asssss…" he started. That's never good. "I think I broke my friends…" he held up an eye belonging to a Green Devil…with a damn toothbrush lodged in it. "Where'd you get a toothbrush," I asked. "Well…Clownman, Dynamoman, and Turboman actually left theirs out in the open, so I decided to use them…and use them I did. Life is sweet…" he actually drooled a bit.

I noticed he was eyeing Treble a bit funny so I smacked him across that failed plaster experiment he calls a head. "No, MY dog!" "I was only gonna eat 'em…" Eat my dog? EAT MY DOG? Do they all have NO CONCEPT of what respect for the possession of others means! I didn't say anything to him, I just took that eye and shoved it up his ass and walked away.

Apparently all the other Robot Masters were mortified of the whole me shoving a giant, metal eye in Skullman's ass, because EVERYONE left me alone…except Starman. That actually turned him on…so instead of dealing with his stupidity, I just stuck a magnet on his head and watched him hop around like a bunny, screaming he was Popeye and Megatron had stolen his batarang. Of course this all ends in him getting himself reformatted and thinking he was Pink Heartman again, running around, waving a little wand in the air, screaming something about Sailor Moon.

Naturally, rather then actually DEAL with him, I just let him run around the castle in one of those cute sailor scout outfits…I quickly heard Hardman say "OOH! YOU LIKE A PURTY LIDDLE GIRL!" and then I heard screaming…lots of it. After about an hour, Starman wandered back in wearing lingerie…I didn't wanna know…consequently he had also made about five thousand Zenny and had the scent of various Robot Masters over him…I hate Robot Masters…I hate organics…especially since one gave me a sense of SMELL…

Four in the afternoon and no Dr. Wily, granted the guy's a buffoon, but I still worry about him. As if hearing my cry over the cosmos, my worries are answered by that weird putt-putt noise his egg-ship makes when it's heavily damaged. Not too long afterwards, Dr. Wily came in through the gate, blackened with soot and stained with his own tears, vomit…and urine. "You're on fire," was all I said. Hey, it was true, his hair was actually on fire. "Huh? Oh it is? Sorry, haven't noticed…" Poor guy…"Got your butt handed to you by Megaman again, huh?"

"OH BASS!" He…he hugged me…jeez, now I'm gonna have to polish my armor…yet again. "It was awful! My Robot Masters didn't even stand a chance against him! Turns out he DIDN'T lose his powers from the other Robot Masters, they were there all along! He pulled Astroman's Astro Crush and OBLITERATED my new fortress, he SKIPPED the eight levels! He was just blowing everything to hell! I actually had my Robot Masters gang up on him and he used that move where he fuses with that stupid dog of his!"

I had to twitch an eye at that comment, I mean what does he think my Gospel Boost is? It's the SAME THING, just cooler. Ugh, had to get the ole fogey's mind back on the here and now. "Well, looks like you lost your bet, ya wanker." "WHAT?" If Dr. Wily ever has a problem, have a Robot Master talk back to him, he'll automatically snap out of it. "Yeah, you heard me, you Gamecock dropout!" "I went to YALE, not USC, and YOU know it!" "I know you got beaten up in Yale, EVERY DAY…you were beaten up by RICH BOYS AND NERDS." "BASS! You can't talk to me that way! I created you!" "I saw the tapes of that day, Wily. You made me, yeah, but it was an accident! You were trying to build a bookshelf and spilled coffee all over the instructions and somehow made me!"

Wily looked shocked, "After all the finish I used to gloss your wooden surface, you betrayed me and became a Robot Master I can't control!" "Gee Wily, how stupid do you have to be to start with wood and end up with metal?" "Bass, I'll deactivate you!" "You wouldn't last ONE day without me here. The other Robot Masters would just shoot out webs of stupidity and drive you insane." "What are you trying to say Bass? I need no one!" "Then why do you keep making Robot Masters?" He froze and looked away. "Oh, and you can leave the next mission entirely to me. Oh, what's the matter, don't tell me you forgot our little bet."

He didn't forget. Wily may act like an idiot, but he's still one of the most intelligent men in the world. Granted I don't find organics to be too intelligent, but they still invented a superior breed of life, namely Robot Masters like myself. Wily didn't forget our bet. He'd just pretend he did in the hopes that I'd forget. When he realized that wouldn't work, well it's always time for Plan B.

"Bass, you...you can't seriously be planning to hold me to that wager!" He quickly shouted his response like my plans would be the end of the world. "Oh you bet I am, Doc. And unlike you, I think I'll start by sending ALL the Robot Masters at Megaman." Sure, I knew it was gonna end up in a damn conga line since...they're all idiots, but it would accomplish ONE thing...getting rid of them.

I glanced over to Star...er...Pink Heartman...and there he was, humping a lamp. "Ya know, I think I'll send him on a solo mission," I said to myself, but I heard a blood-curdling scream from behind as I turned my back to him and looked back. He...was dead. Next to him, Skullman was standing, halfway covered in fluids and wearing Starman's face over his head. "What?" he had already taken the defensive, "It's a hat." I turned to Dr. Wily and said, "See, this is why you need to start pouring coffee on more of your schematics." Dr. Wily scowled, and was PROBABLY going to say something to me, but as he tried, one of those giant hammers you see girls wield on those anime shows came down and bashed him in the head. Looking up and laughing at the top of my lungs, I saw Swordman with that hammer saying, "Did I do good?" "You did real good, you did real good. Now after he regains consciousness, make him rebuild your friends."

"MY FRIENDS," Swordman shouted to the heavens, "I HAVE AVENGED THEE!" "Uhm…Swordman," I said, "Wouldn't avenging them…be like taking your own life?" I realized who I was talking to and clamped my mouth shut. I prayed he wouldn't get any ideas of suicide. Not like it would be bad, it'd just be another one of those situations where Wily spends more time rebuilding defective Robot Masters instead of at least TRYING to make better ones.

Swordman lumbered off, apparently smart enough to realize suicide wasn't called for, and I smiled. This place has its ups and downs...you just gotta weather through them. It had already gotten late, so I retired to my room...and locked the door. "Well Bass," I said to myself, "It's been a long day and it won't get any better, but you'll handle it, because you ARE the strongest Robot Master...EVER." having said that, I plopped into my capsule, dumped my memory files, and started a system check, a sweet, seven hour system check. Sure, it wasn't even five in the afternoon yet, but the sleep was far more preferable to actually staying awake. After all…I hate them. I hate them like Brother Blood hates that Cyborg guy from the Teen Titans…well…that's more like sensual infatuation instead of hate…oh god, another Closetman…

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Ending Notes: Thanks for Reading! I truly don't know if the Misadventures of Bass will develop into anything more than a oneshot, I mean I plan for it to, but hey, I'll let the reader decide.


	2. I am not a fish!

Some Author's Notes: Well thanks to the reviews, I've decided to continue the Misadventures of Bass! Thank you for the support!

Join Bass as he goes through another day in his life, dealing with Robot Masters, Wily, Megaman, and even Roll, all while he begins to ponder his ultimate fortress of world domination.

I don't own Megaman, that honor is reserved for Capcom.

On another note, I would like to thank LyokianDestiny () for an upcoming comment and I sincerely apologize for not saying so when I posted the chapter

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Bass again. Normally I don't bother with a detailed account of my day. That one time…I just _REALLY _needed to blow off some stress. Turns out it worked rather well. That was probably the most peaceful sleep I've had in years, and considering how young I actually am, that's saying something.

I came online and noticed that it was already daylight. That was weird, I should have woken up hours ago. It must have been a REALLY good sleep.

One polishing of the armor later, I was downstairs in the kitchen where oddly enough, I found all the Robot Masters eating cereal in the dining hall peacefully. That was really weird. The heck's going on?

Well Wily was in the kitchen reading the paper…_MY_…paper. He damn well knows I get the paper before anyone else does in the castle. Whatever, at least the Robot Masters were behaving themselves.

Puzzling still, Wily was behaving himself as well. Normally it's a good morning comment and a plan to conquer the world that's doomed to failure before it even begins. This was starting to get annoying, so after I poured my first cup of coffee for the day-dear god that stuff is like nectar-I looked to Dr. Wily and asked, "What's up?" "What do you mean, Bass," he replied.

Ugh. I don't know if it's destiny that makes people around me stupid or if I attract them. Either way, there's only one good solution to the problem, pain.

I splashed my coffee into the good doctor's face and he screamed like some little schoolgirl. Then he looked at me, "What the hell's the matter with you?" he screamed. "What's the matter with me is you're all acting so calm and quiet! Then when I try to find our what's going on, you act like nothing's wrong!" "JEEZ! Last time we let YOU sleep in."

Whoa. Were they actually just trying to be nice for a change? Wow. And to think, I repay such kindness with a splash of hot coffee to the man's face. That's just cruel of me. I'm a jerk. Wait…I've always been a jerk, I'm fine. So my apology to Dr. Wily? I kicked him.

"Who asked you to let me sleep in, anyways?" Seriously, it's like my job to wake up early…sleeping in is counterproductive. "Well…" he said as his words trailed off.

I gave him a moment to find where those words went, and when that wasn't working, I threatened him with the entire coffee pot.

"OKAY!" he shouted. "It's just…the last time someone else woke you up…well…you know how long it took to repair all the damage you caused." "Heh, heh, yeah…"

The incident that the doctor's referring to is something that happened years ago, back when I was first brought online. I was wild, believe you me. I mean sure I'm a jerk now, but I was as lethal as Skullman back then if you pissed me off. I'd stay up late and party with you humans. It was around then I realized that humans were very weak and even with threats like 'I'll kill you if you stop dancing,' you guys have your limits on the whole party scene.

Well one fine day er…week of hard partying equaled me ready for a long sleep. Dr. Wily, kinda fed up with my actions, refused to let me sleep in and actually threw me out of bed. How a man who can barely lift fifty pounds on his own threw me from my bed, I'll never know. Anyways, he was lecturing me on something I wasn't paying attention to and I got mad…real mad…destructive mad. I kinda went nuts for a little while and leveled Wily's castle to the ground along with maybe fifty or so Robot Masters.

After Wily's body had recovered…partly from my wounding him with plasma burns, partly because a castle fell on him, he had to build an entirely new castle and let me tell you, it took a while. It would have gone smoother if he'd had professional help…or even the other Robot Masters for that matter, but after seeing me wreck the entire place and a slew of other Robot Masters…let's just say I became a force to be feared and no one dared come back until the castle was done.

This pretty much did a few things. It put me in charge of the other Robot Masters. None of them were willing to deal with trying to control me after that fiasco. It also confirmed Wily's boasting that I'm the most powerful Robot Master…EVER. On two side notes, no one seems to mess with me when I'm asleep anymore aside from Starman and after a lengthy search, they pretty much realized that the only casualty of the first castle that was never found, Chargeman, would stay missing. Considering what I'd done to him, he's going to stay missing. Heh, heh…sometimes I think I'm as sadistic as Skullman.

Oh boy, I've gotten so far off topic. Anyways, I accepted the fact that Wily and the other Robot Masters are all cowards, scared to invoke my wrath. I like them that way. I left Wily to clean himself up since…well I scalded him with coffee…come to think of it, that was a terrible waste of good coffee. After a moment to lament my lost coffee…I simply got another cup since I was still holding the coffee pot and entered the kitchen.

There they were, hundreds of Robot Masters, most never even having the chance to be destroyed by Megaman, all staring at me. "Morning," I said to them and I instantly regretted it. Only too late had I realized…I'd given them permission to be…them.

Almost on cue, Tomahawkman flings a spoon full of cereal at Frostman, who doesn't know how to react in any other fashion then picking up and flinging Toadman. His aim is terrible because he manages to bash Burnerman, who gets pissed and shoots a stream of flame that manages to knick Tenguman's armor. His armor singed, that idiot Tenguman fires off a tornado hold…Now considering how light a bowl of cereal is, not to mention utensils…this one move manages to splash cereal everywhere and impale countless Robot Masters with spoons, something that actually had Skullman laughing his ass off. No, seriously, Wily builds crappy robots. His ass fell off.

I quickly left before I could witness any more of the mayhem, but I heard a crash that equaled one of the larger Robot Masters probably smashed the dining room table…which means we'll have to get a new one…yay.

Now alone and back in my room, I took a moment to myself and tried to find my laptop. We used to have a computer room, about fifty computers networked together. Then one day, Centaurman decides bestiality is kinky and he downloads enough to fill up every hard drive. Seriously, who's desperate enough for sex that they bang HORSES? As much as the man needs to get laid, not even Wily's that desperate. Anyways, that ended with Wily freaking and melting each hard drive, claiming that no amount of disk wipes would ever make them clean. The computer room was turned into an indoor garden…I hate plants.

It took me a full ten minutes to find my laptop. I can't help it, I'm a busy Robot Master and I don't have time to pay attention to things like…the cleanliness of my room. Personally, I'm surprised Wily hasn't invented Maidman to take care of things like this. Come to think of it, in all actuality, he probably has, but knowing me, I wouldn't let said machine in my room if its life depended on it…frankly it does. Anyone else besides me enters this room and I'll kill them.

Now that my laptop was in my possession again, I knocked some of the junk on my floor away and plopped to the ground. I then began the painstaking process of designing a virtual representation of the fortress I'll be using in my world domination scheme. It makes sense to just skip the ridiculously expensive process of renting eight different locations for stages to wear that blue freak out beforehand. It really makes much more sense to just have eight Robot Masters jump him once he comes in through the front door. Come to think of it…the most sensible thing would be to jump him with everything I could muster…at his house. I mean it's not like it's hard to find him, he's listed in the phonebook. Alas, it'd be too simple for me, even though I try not to be, in some ways I'm just like Wily…

The next few hours were spent on designing my fortress. I was going with the remains of one of Wily's old ones. I mean…they're usually still functional to some degree and relatively easy to rebuild. Even Wily refurbishes an old fortress if he's pressed for time. After all, it costs less, more often than not. I actually varied the design from ridiculously simplistic to UNGODLY complicated. This ranged from the simplicity of an entire room made with spikes-heh, let's see Megaman get through that-to the complexity of a room that actually shifted and contorted at random every ten seconds. Megaman never really was good at handling things like that. Frankly, if a stage was too insane for him, he'd leave, try an easier one, and come back later when his confidence was brought up.

-Sigh-making a fortress is tougher than I thought it was. I'd actually dozed off and had a little dream. It was interesting. It was the future, like 21XX or some crap like that. Megaman had died, heh, heh, that was sweet. Still, he was replaced by some larger, more advanced version of himself named X, that wasn't so cool. What didn't make sense was that…he came FIRST and every other machine was apparently less advanced than him. I mean he could destroy most of them without any problem. Then there was like some weird virus that made machines go insane. That was the reason X was destroying them, they were weird and dangerous. When things got too bad, he relied on some red machine named Zero. While X was just a bigger Megaman, Zero was more distinct. He had an armor that was reminiscent of my own and a weird cross with Protoman's. He even had blonde hair that reminded me of that stupid scarf of Protoman's. Somewhere in my dream, it was revealed that he was built by Dr. Wily to replace me…wait. That actually sounds like something he'd actually do…SON OF A BITCH!

"WILY!" I roared as I burst out of my room. I stomped through the castle, shouting the man's name in a tone of anger that had any Robot Master in earshot cringe in fear. Sure it was a dream, but that was a DAMN convincing dream! Not to mention, let's not forget that little mishap with King! Wily was NOT above replacing me!

A few minutes of searching one of his labs, his garage, the pool, the roof, and the kitchen, still a freaking mess, I discovered him hiding in a closet. Apparently, the good doctor heard me and decided hide-and-seek was preferable to me killing him. "You BASTARD," I shouted as I grabbed him and flung him out of his hiding spot. "BASS," he said, trying to keep the fear out of his voice and failing, "Whatever it is, I didn't do it!" "Don't you lie to me, old man," I barked as I picked him off the ground.

One of those usually useless, but nonetheless cool things about being a Robot Master is having your eyes light up like an LED screen. The feature goes great with anger, which was what I was feeling at the moment. So, my eyes now lit up to add with the face of frustration I was already glaring with, I shoved the doctor's face to mine, "I know what you did! I…er…I mean I know what you're GOING to do! Er…I WON'T LET YOU REPLACE ME AGAIN!"

To be honest, Zero was a daydream, but considering his past performances, Wily was indeed going to attempt to replace me again. Of course I'd crush the newcomer like I crush everything that thinks its better than me, but that's more energy wasted on failures and not spent on more important things, like playing Grand Theft Auto.

"Bass, I would never think to replace you, it's all in your mind!" Dr. Wily's eyes were wide with terror as his mortality began to sink in. I could see it in his eyes, he understood that my eyes were full of hate and loathing, like when he made King, like when he made any of those ridiculous models he insisted were superior to me. "Bass, please, I…I think of you as a son. A son shouldn't kill his father…"

Deep down, it wasn't worth it. Get rid of him and suddenly I'm alone with all the Robot Masters. Some would be too frightened to do anything. Others would seek some kind of vengeance for me killing the Doc. Others still would…not really notice a change and keep on doing their normal stupid antics.

With a sigh, I dropped Dr. Wily and gave an unfelt apology. After all, I'm not gonna feel bad about him trying to replace me, even if he denies it. Deep down in those catacombs of his, he's got another robot on the drawing board, a Zero or a Bass II if you will, just waiting to come online and try and do me in. I'll simply deal with it when the time comes.

"You're on thin ice," I muttered and I left him to his business. Before I was out of earshot, I did hear him crying out to the other Robot Masters. "COME ON! He was gonna freakin' kill me and you all just sit there like scared kittens?" I heard a lot of murmuring afterwards, probably them agreeing with Dr. Wily. Robot Masters aren't smart, but they know better than to get in my way when I decide I'm in a bad mood.

I walked past a couple of Robot Masters that were hiding behind a couch, trying to spy on me from its safety as I retreated back to my room, and glared at them. It was Gyroman and Magnetman. Magnetman actually freaked to the point of letting loose a magnetic blast that reformatted Gyroman, who fell over lifeless on the ground. Well…at least something died. I was about to just leave them when I heard a scream out of Magnetman.

Upon inspection, I saw Skullman standing over Magnetman's dead body. The hole in Magnetman's back along with the spine in Skullman's hand gave away the situation. "Do you have to do that?" I asked dryly. "Do what?" he replied, as if he hadn't done anything. "The whole serial killer bit, it's getting old and it's BEEN annoying."

He gave me a look, a weird look. It was a look that said I'd apparently injured him somehow. Then he…did something weird. He started crying. "I am _NOT_ a serial killer!" he shouted as tears ran down his face. I was shocked. Honestly. I didn't think he had the capacity to cry, I certainly don't. "How can you be so hurtful?" "Skullman, I'm hurtful by nature. Just because you're too sensitive to admit you're a serial killing machine doesn't mean I'm going to hold back on what's obvious." He sobbed again and it was getting to me. "WHAT?" I cried out, eager to get this over with. "I'm not a serial killer." He replied. "Then what are you?" "I'm a spinal killer. Note the spine in my hand."

(Thanks to LyokianDestiny () for the idea of spinal killer…who uses faces for hats)

The line made sense and had a ring of familiarity to it. It was almost like I'd heard it off of one of you pathetic humans, some offhand comment or something. Still, was he that obsessed over what he did that a tiny mislabeling turns him into a bawling baby? I had to get rid of him. I yanked the spine out of his hand and tossed it clear across the room, more than likely out a window. He squeaked and hopped after it, crying out, "MY TROPHY!" and I was finally left to myself again.

With that annoyance out of the way, I eased back into my room but as I tried to add the finishing touches to my fortress, I found I couldn't concentrate on it. I was still pissed.

To cool off, I figured I'd get some reading in. I felt like an ego trip, so I did a search on the internet and discovered one of those fan fiction sites. After all, I'm famous enough that people would write stories about me. Of course, what I found annoyed me. There wasn't a single story about me crushing that blue dweeb beneath my feet! What made matters worse was the yaoi I discovered! Seriously, get a load of this crap!

_Bass found himself outside of Megaman's home, lost in his thoughts, desperate for some way to just come out and admit his feelings. Sure there was a part of him that said that his feelings were just a malfunction and Wily would be able to fix any problem, but it was the burning desire that told him that even if his feelings were a malfunction, they were right. "I love him," Bass found himself saying. "I do, I love Megaman. Everything says I love that blue bomber. This is absurd! I'm supposed to destroy Megaman, not develop feelings for him! Maybe…maybe that's why I never finish him off. I…I don't know what to do."_

HELLO! You DESTROY him! PROBLEM SOLVED! I'm supposed to destroy that freak. If he DIES, then there really isn't anything to be aroused by, now is there? Besides, me in love with that geek? Get real. I'd just as soon give into Starman's desires than bang my rival. Jeez! I am NOT a Closetman!

Argh, this was annoying. I decided it was important to show these computer geeks a real fan fiction and I decided to go with my dream, despite the fact that any concept of Zero sends thralls of anger down my spine…

Anyways, I think I reached into my ass for a few ideas, but most of it seemed to make sense. Honestly, I couldn't think of ANYTHING that could destroy that blue freak other than myself, so I had to leave out reasons behind him being replaced by X, who I was going to make just as pathetic and naïve, but something told me to make him a bit more mature about things. As for Zero, well I was gonna base him off my mentality, but the fact that he hung around Megaman X meant that he'd have to actually be able to spend time with the guy without needing to rip out his optics. That in mind, I thought it best to make him more like Protoman.

Plot wasn't much more than one of Wily's botched schemes with some new faces. I had eight Robot Masters, now dubbed Mavericks, since I wanted things to sound different, and they all followed their leader, this bald guy I thought up named Sigma. Then he had a lieutenant, kinda like me, but stupider. I based him off of that Boba-Fett guy from Star Wars for a laugh. Had to kill Zero off, heh, that's what he gets for thinking he can replace me.

I hadn't even noticed, but it was around five in the afternoon and I had to admit, I was feeling good. With Wily around, even if he was still shook up over me trying to kill him, most of the Robot Masters stayed in check and the ones that didn't, well the number was small enough that Treble could chase them around the castle without me needing to interfere. Frankly, they associate him with me and know that in the event anything happens to him, they deal with me, so, through said association, Treble's presence is equally as frightening as mine.

Someone knocked on my door. It had to be Wily, no one else really dared to. "Bass," came the quiet voice, "Bass…are you sane?" He sounded sure enough of himself, but I bet he'd wet himself if I yelled. "Sane as I'll ever be, Doc, what is it?" "If you've cooled off from your maniacal tirade, I was thinking about getting a new DVD player, you know, for movie night." I guess this was some kind of peace offering.

"Wily, movie night is a bust. Remember, Grenademan broke the projector." "Ah yes, well then I need a new projector as well. Could you go into the city and get them for me?" Is he serious? "Wily, can't you just BUILD a new DVD player and a projector?" "Bass, I can't go around wasting my time on so simple of inventions! Besides, I break enough laws as it is without adding copyright infringement to the list." "I don't think there's actual laws against making a DVD player…" "Bass, please. You can even take the skull ship!"

Okay, he knows I like to use the skull ship. It's got so much horsepower under the hood that it's not even funny. Add that with the random assortment of weapons it has and the fact that it takes up like four parking spaces and it's the coolest ride ever.

"Fine, you want me to steal a couple of electronics, sure." "Steal? Heavens no. I actually do believe in paying for quality merchandise. You can use my credit card." "Stealing would really be easier…and more people would scream"

A few minutes of light debate and I conceded to merely buying his stupid gadgets. I checked on Treble, who was gnawing on Quickman's leg. Heh, heh…he apparently wasn't quick enough. I left my companion to his devices and got into the skull ship, making short time to the city-I actually need to eventually learn the name of this city…eventually.

Anyways, parking was easy…I mean the skull ship's massive, it lands wherever the hell I damn well feel like it does…which happened to be on a couple of cars. They won't mind, or rather, I won't care if they do mind, so after breaking another car's windshield for the fun of it, I entered the electronics store, some place called Radio Video, and the first thing I have to see is one of those ridiculous store greeters. Some tall guy with a bowl cut in one of those ridiculous uniforms.

The guy looked at me and offered me a big, bright smile-ugh-and said, "Welcome to Radio Video!" I was gonna leave him alone, but he made one comment that got me. "So, a cosplayer, huh? Must be a fan of that Bass guy."

Okay, a few things. One, sure I'm out in public wearing my armor…I don't feel safe taking it off at home, I'm damn sure not taking it off in public. Two, how stupid do you have to be to not see I'm the original? I mean did he not see the GIANT FREAKIN' SKULL SHIP I landed in? Three…he said Bass…as in the freakin' fish. I…am NOT…a FREAKIN' FISH! Hello! Bass and Treble! That alone says my name is NOT to be pronounced like I'm some fish some redneck organics spend all day trying to catch! Let alone GOSPEL! Bass and Treble become GOSPEL! Even MORE proof that we're going for SOUND, not SEAFOOD!

Organics really have no redeeming qualities, do they? Seriously, go on, name one, I dare ya. You can't can you? That's because there aren't any.

I looked him square in the eyes and said, "Look, I'm feeling generous. I'm going to give you a choice. One, you run around in a circle, screaming and flailing your limbs like an idiot, and then you jump out the window. Two, I MAKE you run around in a circle, screaming and flailing your limbs like an idiot, then _I _toss you out the window. Either way, you're going in a circle, making an idiot of yourself, and then you're going out the window." He scoffed and folded his arms, calling my bluff. Organics are stupid.

A couple seconds later, one very shocked human goes flying out the window and I laugh to myself. Then I grabbed Wily's stupid DVD player, naturally going for the most expensive, and I went for a projector too. Now we can actually watch movies again, provided no one touches the damn player except for me. I was about to walk out the store when the clerk behind the counter yelled, "Aren't you gonna pay for that?"

I grumbled. I should just crush the guy and get rid of any annoyances. Still, Wily said he didn't want trouble, at least not yet-granted I threw a guy out a window, but that was self-defense…okay, not self-defense per se, but I was damn well defending my honor-so went back to the counter and let him scan the items, then offered the old man's credit card. He eyed it and asked, "Can I see some identification, Mr. Wily?

Did he just…call me…Wily? I guess since I'm using his card, I'm asking for it. Still, you'd think a Robot Master who constantly destroys everything in his way would be more easily recognized. A slight shrug and destroying a DVD stand with my buster later, I looked at him, smirked, pointed said buster at him, and said, "There's my ID, I'd like to leave now."

He actually let me leave without paying, which I guess would equate to stealing in some people, but to me, it was a gift. A few thousand bucks down the drain for them thanks to an expensive DVD player, a projector, a destroyed stack of DVDs, and a shattered window, they'll probably fire that clerk…wonder if I should vaporize him first.

I know what you're thinking, three laws of robotics or some crap like that. I'm not allowed to kill humans or some stupid shit like that. You know, that's the thing about a sentient machine…I ripped those stupid rules out of my processor on day one. It's part of why I can smack Wily around like I do.

Well I decided to load my packages into the skull ship and take my sweet time getting back. After all, there's an ice cream shop across the street that has this awesome root beer float I love, so I got one of those and walked outside and heard, "Hey, Bass!"

I turned and saw some kid in blue jeans and some white t-shirt with messy, kinda spiky brown hair. He smiled at me like I knew him or something. ""Don't tell me you don't recognize me," he said. "It's me, Rock!" I tilted my head and looked at him, confused. "You know, Megaman!"

Oh shit. It's him, my rival, and neither one of us are on the job. What do I do? Do I…do I hit him? I mean he's not in his armor, it'd be easy to just destroy him now. Maybe it'd be too easy…I mean I still want to prove the superiority of my fortress over Wily's…I need this idiot for that. I guess I won't kill him, still, I should say something. I need to say something that keeps me standing in the limelight of totally badass persona I have. "Hey…you……jerk."

Hey you jerk? Was that the best I could really come up with? Okay, I need to try again, something infinitely better than what I just said. "…I hate you…a lot."

Okay, talking to the dweeb is getting me nowhere. I was about to just leave when he laughed a bit and gave me a hug…which is just wrong. I pushed the freak off of me and said, "Don't you have like some date with your sister or some crap like that?"

He shot me a look, I think it was anger…I think…it's hard to tell when you're looking into the face of a guy who probably spends his free time saving trees and dancing around rainbows. "Dating Roll is sick, even for your mind, Bass. Besides, we're not talking right now." I arched an eyebrow, hey, he peaked my curiosity, I always thought they were like those Osmond twins…

"What'd you do to each other, huh?" I asked, since I was interested now. "It's nothing, it's just a stupid argument and she got all fussed up over nothing and left. I don't know where she is now." He finished with crossing his arms and I had to force down a laugh. It's actually rather humorous to see him pissed.

As much as I'd loved to have pushed his buttons all day, I did have a fortress to build. As for an actual world domination scheme…well…get rid of Megaman, no need for anything other than brute force. "Later loser," I said with a dismissive wave of my hand, "I'll crush you later, when you're actually in your armor."

"Don't you wanna hang out a little, Bass?" he asked, like I'd consider it. "Uhm…no. We're enemies." "You don't really believe that." "Yes I do." "No you don't." "Do too." "Do not."

This went on for about five minutes until I finally got bored and chucked my drink at him…then, realizing I'd have to buy another one, I hit him. It wasn't a hard punch, just enough to break his nose. I tossed the cup at him and watched it bounce off his head and I'm pretty sure he was about to cry or something stupid like that, so I merely left him and got another drink, came out to find that he'd gotten up and left, which is good for me, and I returned to the skull ship to find some cute blonde girl leaning on it. It took me a moment to realize said cute girl was the dweeb's sister.

I can't believe I didn't recognize her, then I remembered she always seems to look different each time I see her, whether she's taller or if she changed her hair or decided to go with an entirely new wardrobe. From what I can tell, she's Dr. Light's maid or something, and she apparently prides herself on appearance. I mean Megaman's content on looking like some kid, but here she was, apparently receiving a remodeling or something to that extent, because the girl I was looking at was definitely designed to look like a teenager, like I am.

She'd apparently cut the hair shorter and made it ridiculously spiky in my opinion. She'd also ditched the dress, but kept the red color theme, opting for a tiny pair of shorts and some short-sleeved shirt, both red with a white trim. There was some type of tight, black item of clothing underneath that barely poked out under the shorts and she was wearing some red hat. I had to admit, now that I had a good look at her, she was pretty hot.

Wait, I did NOT just call my foe's sister hot! No, I don't care what she looks like…I gotta think of something to get my mind off it, to cut out the electronic equivalent of hormones running through me…gotta hurt Wily for that shit later…let's see…AH! Wily in a bikini! That's hideous…wait…TOO HIDEOUS! OH GOD! MY EYES! Must…replace…with…Roll…in bikini…much better…wait…this was what I was running from…DAMN IT!

A sigh to myself and a buster charging, I told her, "You've got five seconds to get off my ride." She leapt up with a squeak and took a step away from the skull ship, smart girl. "Now what's the sister of my arch nemesis doing parked against my skull ship?" "Hey Bass," She said happily, as if I weren't aiming a highly destructive plasma weapon at her. She gave me a warm smile, but it didn't phase me, I was still prepared to blow her head off. "Answer my question, Creampuff." "Aww, how sweet, you have a nickname for me."

This whole encounter should be pissing me off, but it was more like borderline annoyance. I powered down my buster and calmly asked, "Now, what are you doing here?" "Talking with you, duh," she replied. "NO! I mean what were you doing waiting outside my ship!" She looked off while saying, "I saw you come out of the electronics store and then get some ice cream. I was waiting, kinda hoping I could hang around your place for a couple days…"

Yeah, like I'd let her crash at the castle. I should have been cruel and said yes, then left her alone with the Robot Masters. That'd show her. Still, with a huff, I only said, "You've got your own place to stay. Look, I'll drop you off, okay?" "No way," she said with disgust. "I'm not going back until Rock apologizes!" "What'd you two fight over anyways?" "I don't want to talk about it, Bass, just PLEASE can I stay for a few days?" "Don't you have that Dr. Light guy to take care of?" "He's working on a project out of town and he'll be gone for a bit and it's just unbearable to be around Rock, you can relate." Oh can I…

I thought it over in my head and part of me couldn't believe I was even considering it. There's no way the Doc would go for it, first off. Next, she wouldn't survive an encounter with the Robot Masters on her own. Then there's that whole fact that I'm plotting to take down her brother.

"Come on…" She said with pleading eyes, "It's not such a bad idea, it'll be fun." I rolled my eyes and said, "Yeah, that's what Wily said about Hyper Beaver Man." "What?" she asked in bewilderment. "Yeah, long story Creampuff. Just know it ended in a lawsuit. Wily's not allowed to have children, they'll be considered animals and shot on sight." Roll giggled a bit and replied, "Well Wily's kind of stupid, isn't he?"

Hey, she actually got it, maybe I could live with this. "Alright Creampuff, you can stay for a bit, but you try anything funny, and I'll crush you." Hey, I still have to sound like a tough guy, even if I'm doing something nice. She smiled and hugged me and after three seconds, I forced her off me. Then we began the ride back to Wily Castle…or we were supposed to at least.

"Hey Bass?" "Yeah?" "I don't trust Rock with Tango." "Huh?" "You think we can get him?" "Get Megaman?" "NO! Get Tango!" "What's Tango?" "My cat."

Hmmm…get her cat…doesn't sound smart. After all, it'd be just as vulnerable as Roll. Next, add in how Treble might react to a new pet. Sure Treble's a wolf and they really don't chase cats…but knowing Wily…I dunno. Nope…not getting the cat, no way, no how.

…I can't believe I'm doing this. "Hello? B-BASS?" Megaman's jaw had practically fallen off as he opened his front door to see me standing in front of it. I just wanted to get this over with quickly. "I came for the damn cat." "What?" he asked, shocked. "Roll's stupid cat. She wouldn't shut up about it." I jabbed a thumb in her direction, the girl leaning on the skull ship.

"OH!" Megaman said, his face turning red. "You brought Bass into this, huh? Got him on your side and everything, turned him against me!" "Megaman," I said, "I've always been against you. I'm your enemy." "Is that the propaganda she fed you?" he shot back. "No," I replied honestly, "It's the propaganda Wily fed me…and I believe it. Besides, when did you get so paranoid?" "I'm not paranoid!" he said defensively, "SHE'S JUST EVIL!"

"YEAH! WELL YOUR HEAD'S TOO BIG!" Ugh, Roll had joined in. "I can't believe you had to drag Bass into this, sis." Megaman said. "Bass is just being a good friend and lending me a hand in my time of need." Roll said and I was forced to add my own words. "Uhm…I'm not her friend, I'm just giving her a place to stay for a bit…" "OH! So you're moving in with Bass now, huh?" Megaman said as he walked into the house. "I suppose you'll want all your stuff!"

Before I could even ask why she'd need her things for a few night stay, he began throwing random things out of the house. The action seemed to infuriate Roll, who merely stalked after him, shouting, "YEAH! I'd love my things! See if I even check up on you! I'm so out of here! Bass is nicer anyways!"

Hoo boy, things were getting out of hand. It's like I'm supposed to just let her…move into my room or something. Besides, how can she call me nicer? I've destroyed Light's lab more than once, I've kidnapped her, attempted to kill both of them multiple times, and I stole their paper once. I'm hardly nice. I sat down on the ground while Megaman's sappy pup, Rush walked up to me, eager to get away from all the shouting and rambling, words I never even knew Megaman could say without a short-circuit. I looked at the dog and petted it, saying, "What have I gotten myself into?"

I kept petting Rush while Megaman and Roll argued, Roll spending some time from her insults to gather her things…thank god the skull ship had space. I would have kept petting the dog, but he was enjoying it too much and his spring popped out of his back. That…was kinda awkward. I didn't touch him after that.

After a while and a headache on my part, Roll's stuff was loaded into the back of the skull ship, Tango was nestled safely in her arms, and we left, Megaman screaming something like, "You'll come back! THEY ALWAYS COME BACK!"

"Who's 'they'." I asked Roll, who honestly didn't know. We rode in silence back to the castle-thank god, I'm home. It's late, like ten at night by now. Most Robot Masters have turned in for the night, so I luckily didn't have to explain to them that the blonde girl in red was off-limits. I led her to my room, still a pigsty.

"You LIVE in here?" She asked, mockingly. "Yeah, what of it?" "Bass, this place is a mess!" "I'm an evil Robot Master, Creampuff! I don't think cleanliness is part of my programming." "Where's my stuff gonna go?" She asked this like I was actually going to let her stay in my room after tonight. "We'll figure it out tomorrow."

We'd have kept up this boring conversation, but Wily's voice resounded off the walls, "BASS!" and I sighed, slumping my shoulders. I told Roll not to touch anything in my room and I went to see what had the Doc's panties in a knot.

He was in the living room and I remembered to bring him that stupid DVD player and that ridiculous projector and I handed them over. "Thank you," He said, "But what's this I hear about you bringing some blonde bimbo into my castle?" "Relax, Wily. It's just Roll." "Who?" "You know, Roll, you kidnapped her a few times…I've kidnapped her a few times…Megaman's sister…" "You kidnapped her again?" "Not…not really…she uh…she's moving in?"

Sure it was more a statement than a question, but it was still one damn odd statement. NO ONE foresaw this and I don't even know what the hell got between her and that dweeb of a brother she has.

Wily's eyes actually bugged out of his head when it hit him that Roll was moving in. "ABSOLUTELY NOT! I REFUSE TO HAVE ANY PART OF THAT FREAKY LITTLE BLUE BOY'S LIFE IN MY CASTLE!" "She uh…hates Megaman too?"

His demeanor changed almost automatically. I don't think anything aside from world domination will make him as happy as finding another person who hates Megaman's guts. "You do realize," he said, "She's your responsibility. That means she better be housebroken and she sleeps on the floor." "Wily, she's not a dog…or one of your stupider Robot Masters…"

As if to emphasize my point, Gutsman, probably the stupidest one in the damn castle, relieved himself on the floor. Wily saw, shrugged, and walked off, saying, "Bass, clean that up, will you?"

I couldn't protest, he was already gone and Gutsman was already smashing his head into a wall. Wily wants it clean? Right. I blasted the soiled spot with my buster, leaving a hole in the ground. There, clean. Now, to take care of Gutsman, I gave him a fork and pointed out an electrical socket…then I saw Sparkman and figured that'd be funnier and wouldn't cut the power to the whole castle.

Sure enough, Gutsman impaled Sparkman through the eye and lit up like a Christmas tree, exploding eventually. Sparkman tried to get to get the fork out, but when you have giant freakin' spikes for hands, all that does is stab yourself more. I lost about ten minutes laughing at the scene before the scent of death attracted Skullman, who quickly extinguished Sparkman's life, ripped the spikes off his hands, and later on, impaled Shademan with them, screaming, "I AM SKULLMAN! VAMPIRE SLAYER!" Luckily for me, I wasn't around at the time.

I retreated back to my room, running into Treble on the way. From the look of satisfaction on his face, he apparently played tug-of-war with one of the Robot Master's limbs. Good boy. Anyways, I had to explain to him the whole situation with Roll so he didn't freak when he saw the girl waiting in my room or the cat she'd brought with her.

To my surprise, I find Roll asleep in my capsule…MY capsule with Tango nestled beside her. Treble looked at me confused and I only sighed, saying, "I don't know boy. I think conquering the world's gonna get complicated." It then occurred to me that I wasted half a day that COULD have been spent with my fortress and all because I went out for a stupid DVD player…if I'd just told Wily to screw himself, I wouldn't have had to leave, I wouldn't have met Roll, and she CERTAINLY wouldn't be in my room…DAMN IT ALL!

----------

Ending Notes: Next time, Bass holds auditions for his team of Robot Masters in his fortress while trying to keep Roll alive in the presence of hundreds of Robot Masters!

Thanks for reading, reviews, comments, suggestions, all welcome!


	3. Sorry, only an Author Note

Author: Nope, sorry, this isn't the Chapter Three of the Misadventures of Bass that you've been waiting for, sorry. It's just-

Skullman: OOH! Can I tell them? I want to tell them!

Author: …-Sigh-…fine…

Skullman: Well our Author just wishes to let you know he hasn't abandoned the story and he plans to update it soon enough, after all, The Misadventures of Bass and Skullman is a very entertaining story.

Bass: What's this crap about your name in the billing?

Skullman: Come on, I'm so totally your sidekick.

Bass: Nuh-uh.

Skullman: Yes-huh!

Bass: You're homicidal!

Skullman: All the better to be your sidekick!

Bass: Look, I have a sidekick and his name is Treble.

Skullman: But I can drop on all fours and bark too!

Author: Look, is either one of you going to explain the situation or am I going to have to do it? …Brilliant, they're fighting each other…ugh. Well as you all know, the creative process is harder in some areas than it is in others, at the moment, it's trying to come up with new Robot Masters for Bass's assault on Megaman.

Bass: Yeah, I'm not going with any of the losers that already failed, like Astroman and Tenguman.

Author: Weren't you fighting Skullman?

Bass: I was…but I _AM _the most powerful Robot Master.

Author: Then why aren't you fighting Megaman this time?

Bass: …Please, I'm the leader, I fight at the end, after the pawns sacrifice themselves for me.

Author: Anyways, while the list of possible Robot Masters is completed, it DOES give me an idea.

Bass: Oh no…

Author: YES! The Reader can invent their own Robot Master to supplement my own, putting a little piece of the Reader into the story.

Bass: You do realize that said little piece is getting blasted to hell by Megaman, right? Then they'll get rebuilt by Wily, who won't even be sure where the hell they came from and then they'll irk me. Don't I have enough problems?

Author: If you had enough problems, the story would be over. Now the story will be updated soon enough, probably a few days, but if the idea appeals to you, the Reader, simply come up with a name, Badger Man, Toast Man, Justin Timberlake Man—

Bass: Creative, ain't ya.

Author: Shut it before I turn you into Closet Man. Anyways, after a name, think a power and the reason Bass can't stand you, maybe you got cheese all over his armor, or you're that cute little girl Robot Master Wily made eight years ago that realized it was in a Castle full of male Robot Masters and went INSANE, only to be locked in the floorboards.

Bass: You're using that one, aren't you?

Author: What part of 'shut it', doesn't get through your logic circuits?

Bass: The whole 'listen to a human' bit, really.

Author: Whatever, to the Reader, if the concept interests you, leave it in a review, if not, say nothing, even if the chapter gets posted and you haven't come up with an idea, hey, Bass needs more issues to deal with. Thank you for reading the Misadventures of Bass and Skullman.

Skullman: HAH!

Bass: I didn't agree to that!

Author: Okay, really, there's no text after this, say hello to 'Lack of Closure'!


	4. Interviewswith morons

Some Author's Notes: It's been a while, hasn't it? Sorry, my other story keeps me occupied. Anyways, here's the true chapter three of The Misadventures of Bass. Join the chapter as it delves into Bass's life, now altered with the addition of Roll in Wily Castle.

Special thanks to all those who review on the story, you guys mean a lot to me, even if Bass hates you.

I would personally like to thank:

Karioudo for Otakuman (Originally Fanboyman, but there's that neato creative license I guess, sorry if the name upsets you)

Ri2 for Nuclearman

Araxii for Timeman

And Overdrive WHOO! for Overdriveman

The ideas were great and if not portrayed properly, I do apologize, please correct me, after all, it's the only way to learn from a mistake.

As for other submissions, they're still welcome and bound to show up in later chapters.

As always, Capcom owns Megaman and Cast, not me, so uh…I don't want to be sued.

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I am the mighty Bass, feared by humans and robots alike. I am the right hand of Dr. Wily, the world's most insane, yet technologically gifted mind in the world. Okay, Light's just as famous, but he's not insane. I have at my disposal, the mighty Bass Buster, a plasma weapon of unimaginable destructive potential and I have Treble, my mighty war hound! We combine into the unstoppable Gospel!

You might ask yourself where someone of such unimaginable power would choose to lay his head at night…and…if you said the floor…you'd…ugh…you'd be right.

This is insulting. Me, Bass, listed in the top ten deadliest people alive and even considered last year's most attractive baddie, and I'm spending the night on my floor. Why? Because I listened to that tiny voice in the back of my head called a conscience and let Megaman's sister Roll spend the night at the Castle since she and Megaman had some falling out that neither of them is willing to tell me about.

I leave her alone in my room for a little bit and come back to find her sleeping in my capsule like she actually has permission to. I can't believe I didn't just throw her out…well regardless, I could have slept in one of the guest rooms or the couch…but that'd be me in the open, considering the Castle has a lack of locks so I opted for my floor.

Now my room's a mess since I never clean it and its cluttered from junk me or Treble drag in, so I had to push trash away to make me a bed. I used Treble as my pillow, he didn't mind, he enjoys the attention. Come to think of it, I think I used to have a bed in here, but I think the junk in my room ate it.

My nose wrinkled. It had caught the scent of something. Whatever it was, it was delicious. I cleared my mind of the thought and reminded myself that nothing in Wily Castle smells delicious. If anything, this was all a figment of imagination and…I'm tired, I need sleep.

Soon, Treble smelled it too and he yawned and got up, unfortunately no longer my pillow. He pawed the door and I sighed, got up, and let him out of the room. When I did, that smell hit me full-on and dear god, it was incredible. I glanced back to my capsule and found it empty of Roll or Tango. Those bastards must have smelled it before I did. I have to hurry before whatever glorious food is giving that heavenly scent is devoured!

I didn't even polish my armor, I just hopped out and tried to find where that scent was coming from, and judging by the large number of salivating Robot Masters in the dining room, I'd have to say it was coming from the adjacent kitchen. Wait, only broken dreams come out of there, not gifts from God…

I pushed my way through the horde of idiots and got into the kitchen to see Roll in an apron, cooking breakfast, while her cat lounged on the fridge. Her food smelled incredible! It was probably a sin, a sweet, edible sin!

I opened my mouth to say something, but she whirled around and saw me, shouted, "Out of my kitchen!" and pushed me out, then she slammed the door behind her.

What…just happened here? Was I just kicked out of the kitchen? The kitchen where I'm one of the few people actually allowed in it? Come to think of it, was I just pushed around by a small blonde girl who declared said kitchen as hers?

"HOW THE HELL DID SHE EVEN GET IN THE KITCHEN?" I exclaimed, thoroughly confused. Like I've said before, the kitchen is locked and aside from Wily, only high-ranking Robot Masters like yours truly can get in. "She used your key," Wily said plainly. He was sitting at the dining room table and I noticed it was being held up by liberal application of duct-tape since it got smashed yesterday. Seriously, he could have told me to get a table yesterday too…though…then I might have opened my room up to someone else too…

Wait. She used my key? "She used my key?" "That's what she said," Wily replied. "That was before she kicked me out of the kitchen…ME, I OWN the place!" I quickly patted myself down and realized that my key actually wasn't on me. Creampuff actually picked my pocket! If the smell of that food wasn't so inviting, I'd smash her little head in!

I spent about an hour waiting in the dining room in thankful silence. All the Robot Masters were far too busy trying to keep their drool off of each other to actually speak. Then Roll finally entered with a ridiculously huge cart, loaded to the brim with food. Dear lord, there were eggs, biscuits, bacon, sausage, pancakes, hash browns, ham, toast, and oatmeal. It was all topped off with orange juice and milk to wash it down.

She walked in front of her food, beating back rabid Robot Masters with a wooden spoon. Heh, she must have experience keeping Megaman away from her food, problem is, he's one blue bomber, this is hundreds of Robot Masters that were told that food that tastes good is a lie.

She was going to get overrun, subject to hundreds of Robot Masters who have never even SEEN a girl in their lives, NOR have they ever heard of good food! They were gonna kill her with their attention and at least one of them would eat her shoes, I'm fairly certain of that, so I did something to save her, more than likely something stupid too.

"Hey you morons!" I shouted as I stood up and rose my fist to the air, "The Creampuff belongs to me, back off, or I'll rip out your optics and tear off your arms and beat you all to death with them!"

Ugh. The threat, the threat was good. The threat struck fear into the hearts of my comrades and even I was a little shocked at how harsh it sounded, the problem was that I attached it to Roll, what was worse, I proclaimed her as mine, as if she were my girlfriend or something.

Still, slight embarrassment aside, the Robot Masters fell into line, at least until Roll stepped out of the way, then they dived like wild animals into the food, grabbing every ounce of it as if it were holy ambrosia.

Being more intelligent than your standard Robot Master, I simply watched with my arms folded, waiting for them to finish. At least that way, I can keep my hands attached to my body. If perhaps the food was gone by the time it was my turn, I'd simply blast one of those idiots and take theirs.

The crowd died down and I reached for some food, but Roll smacked my hand with that spoon! I glared daggers at her and went for it again, but she attacked me again!

Okay, I'm hungry and annoyed, attacking me, preventing me from enjoying the first wonderful thing to be made in this Castle, that's just suicide.

I snatched the spoon from her and growled, looming over her when she calmly replied, "Your food's in the kitchen."

I had my own food?

Sure enough, in the kitchen, both me and Wily had our own plates, both with generous helpings of eggs and pancakes with sausage on the side. The pancakes were actually in the shape of our heads, making the thought of devouring Wily's giant head amusing. We even had coffee, and after a sip, I realized it had just the lightest touch of cinnamon in it, which tasted surprisingly good.

It was around halfway through breakfast that she leaned into me and stared sweetly at me…which…was rather uncomfortable in the mental sense. Sure she smelled nice and she's attractive and…no, no Bass, just no.

"Can I help you with something?" I finally asked.

"You said I belong to you," she said sweetly as she gazed at me.

Ah hell. How do a stupid group of words do so much? It scares the Robot Masters from their need to do…look, I don't know what they'd do to Roll, but now it makes her think I have feelings for her too!

Do I have feelings for her? No, that'd be stupid, but I feel something, otherwise she wouldn't be here. Argh, I should just shove her back to Megaman, that'd fix things…but then…I'd never have food this good ever again. That's it, I'm just using her! What was it Dr. Wily compared her to last night? That's it!

"Of course you belong to me, Creampuff. You're akin to…a pet."

There, I said it, it makes me sound awful, perverted at a ridiculously dirty level, but it proves I'm not in love with the dweeb's sister…really Wily…why give robots emotions anyways…

"I'm…your pet?" She asked, confused. She tilted her head to the side and thought about it. I think I might have insulted her, good. "MEOW!" She shouted and hugged me. Seriously, I think there's a defect in Light's robots. They seem to take insults a little too well. I can't piss either Megaman or his sister off if my life depended on it apparently, what is an evil Robot Master to do?

"Uh…right…" I muttered as I forced her off me. "Look, if you're gonna stay, you need to follow some ground rules." She nodded attentively. "One, these shows of affection…yeah, I'm instigating a 'three second rule'. I can't perform my duties with you hanging off me, plus it's creepy. Two, you listen to what I say as my word is law!"

Wily overheard the comment and cleared his throat and I glowered at him, that got him quiet. Seriously, he thinks I'd tell her to obey him? Then what? Gutsman gets past the fifth letter of the alphabet without someone's help? Yeah right.

"Three," I continued, "_I _sleep in my capsule, you sleep in a gue…" Hmm…a guest room would be a deathwish, wouldn't it? As would the couch…and not even I've been in Wily's room, every time I pass by it, there's this lingering smell of old socks and mayonnaise. Yeah, not gonna be that cruel, "Look, you stay on the floor until we get you a bed or something."

"Four, I…I'm not quite sure what four is yet, but when I figure it out, it'll damn well be enforced!"

There, those rules shouldn't be too hard, right? I mean one thing Light's bots have over Wily's is at least average intelligence. I looked at her for a moment and she nodded before going to work on dishes, leaving me to eat in silence, blessed silence. It's weird, I guess the others are too busy eating to do anything out of the ordinary.

After Creampuff finished the dishes-MAN that was a lot of dishes, I mean we have a Dishwasherman-I went outside into the dining room and addressed the group.

"Men!" I barked, "As you all know, it's MY turn to defeat Megaman in a spectacular battle to the death! I need volunteers for a mission that's almost assuredly suicidal! Now I know a lot of you haven't even seen Megaman before, but you've all died at least twice, so don't let the fear of death stop you! I need eight individuals—" Tenguman immediately stood up, "Preferably individuals that haven't lost multiple times." Tenguman sat back down with what I guess is a scowl, kinda hard to tell through the mask; Astroman sighed relief, I could smell the panic attack that was brewing that I averted.

"Now," I continued, "Like I said, Megaman's probably going to destroy you but that's a lot better than the alternative if NONE of you try out." "What's that?" one of them asked. "Well that's simple, in the event none of you try out, _I'LL _destroy _ALL _of you."

That got their attention. There was murmuring amongst them and the beautiful look of fear on their faces as they wondered who among them would try out for the team. It was around then that Roll walked out of the kitchen and I glared at everyone and nodded my head in her direction. They all stood up, bowed, and said, "Thank you, Miss Roll." She smiled and said, "Anytime."

After I got their attention again, which was easy with a plasma weapon, I told them, "Line up in front of the conference room in an hour and I'll interview you, remember that we're actually trying to BEAT Megaman, therefore…try not to be the one Robot Master that somehow has the PERFECT advantage over another…I'd rather not see another Balloonman/Needleman incident, you got me?" They all shook their heads and I let them go about their business, for now at least.

It was then that Roll looked at me and asked, "Hey Bass, what about all my stuff in the Skull ship?" "Huh? Oh. Right, just get Gutsman and Hardman to help you lug that crap in. Tell them that Bass told them to do it."

Roll nodded and smiled sweetly-yuck-and left the dining room only to be stopped by Drillman, with a dopey grin on his face.

"Well howdy there ma'am, th' name's Drillman, pleased to make yer acquaintance." He offered his hand to shake, but come on…Wily has this thing about not understanding that machines need HANDS to manipulate most objects, and like Sparkman, he didn't have fingers, oh no, he had giant, freakin' DRILLS for hands, so when she nervously moved to shake his hand, I offhandedly commented, "I wouldn't if I were you." She stopped and his drill-for-a-hand started whirring to life and he chuckled. "Sorry 'bout that. Sometimes the dag-gum thing goes off on its own, causes quite a bit o' ruckus, that's fer sure!"

He laughed a bit to himself before walking off on his way and I nudged Treble to follow Roll so she didn't get herself killed. It was then that I decided to spend a few minutes finishing my coffee and reading the rest of my paper, but as Fate would have it, today wasn't going to be a simple day.

"Hey Bass!" Gyroman shouted. "There's a Doctor Cossack at the door! He's looking for Wily!" "Then why don't you go get Wily?" I asked, not bothering to hide the annoyance in my voice. "Well Wily's holed up in his room and well…I ain't touching that."

I sighed and greeted the man at the door. He seemed far more in shape than Dr. Light or Wily, and a lot happier too, he had this big grin plastered on his face that sickened me. He stood tall and adjusted his glasses before saying, "You there, you're not Wily." "Uh…duh. Wily's busy right now, so you can talk to me."

He thought it over a bit and invited himself in, pushing past me like it wasn't an insult, all the while, keeping that smile on his face…I should deck him…as hard as I can…probably take his head off easy. No, no, then Wily will bitch about the blood in the carpet and how hard it is to make it look like a human being conveniently disappeared. He's spared for the moment.

He plopped on the couch and propped his feet on the coffee table like he owned the place and ignored my scowl as I crossed my arms. "So," I finally said, "I didn't think Wily actually had any friends." "Oh, we're colleagues in crime." "Wait, don't you help out Dr. Light? Yeah, pretty sure you do." He just shrugged and replied, "It's only to spy on Megaman." "Yeah, well, what do you want?" "I just needed to talk to Wily about our latest scheme to take over the world. See, I was thinking these really funny hats with mind control chips in them—"

Yeah, time to stop him. "Look," I said, "Don't worry about it, I'm going to conquer the world, I'm going to destroy Megaman, and I don't need your help." His eyes grew out of his skull and that smile vanished as he said, "You can't do that! It's a thing between me and Wily, it's what we do!" "Yeah, well, get a new thing to do, I'm taking that blue dweeb down once and for all!"

He stood up, a look that said I'd somehow hurt him, so I patted him on the back and said, "Look, it's not too bad, I mean if anything, blame Wily. He's the one who lost the bet that put me in this position."

The man actually shed a tear…

Cossack, what a weird organic. I hear he's almost as good at robotics as Wily and Light, but I've really never seen any of his inventions, I just know he hangs around Light way too much, now I find out he's some kind of spy? A bad spy considering Megaman's still alive. I checked the time on the HUD display of my buster and realized it was getting close to interview time, so I needed to wrap this up.

"Look, loser, I've got Robot Masters to round up for my fortress, so I need you to leave." I picked him up and carried him to the door while he protested about how I couldn't do this to him, despite the obvious fact that I was doing it, but as I opened the front door, he shouted, "BEAT, ATTACK!"

"Beat?" I repeated, "What the?"

This blue…duck…football…THING came out of nowhere and rammed into me, only to bounce off my armor and crumple on the ground. Now that it was down, I got a good look at it. It was a bird…I think. It certainly had a weird football body and a duckbill, but it looked horrible. Was this the best he could muster? And he's considered one of the world's most brilliant minds?

"Beat, get up!" Cossack shouted, "You can do it, remember your training!" The…birdlike thing got up and squawked before it started pecking my armor at various locations, darting like some kind of disfigured hummingbird. It certainly didn't hurt, but it was kinda getting annoying. "Keep it up, Beat," Cossack shouted, "He's weakening, I can see it in his eyes!"

Okay, yeah, I was bored and annoyed, I'd narrowed my eyes and been patient, so I calmly asked, "Get him to stop this…whatever it is he's doing, it's annoying." Cossack stood tall and laughed with that stupid smile and said, "Never, your cries for mercy shall go unfelt!"

I sighed and grabbed the bird by a wing, holding it up on its side as it desperately tried to balance itself, but it was failing miserably. I dropped it on the ground and stepped on it before it recovered. Cossack looked shocked, but come on, I think I did nature a favor.

I growled at him and he fell over in fear. I towered over him, savoring the moment of yet another human's incredible cowardice in my presence. Then I sighed again, deciding to spare him.

I left him alone with Starman and Crashman, gave Crashman one of those E-Z Bake Ovens. It shouldn't kill him, but he's gonna have one hell of a case of food poisoning.

It was finally time to enter the conference room, and I passed an acceptable number of Robot Masters in line. I entered the conference room, it was a rather long room with multiple portraits of Wily in various poses to amplify that big head of his. There was a long table, nowhere near as long as the ridiculous one in the dining room-I'm still trying to figure out how Wily bought a table that seats four hundred…-and it had about twenty or so plush chairs with a deluxe, swivel base chair at the head of the table that I sat in.

Now there were actually far too many Robot Masters trying out to go through each interview, so I'll only tell you the interesting ones.

-Interview 1: Arsenalman.

I watched as a Robot Master entered that I hadn't seen before. At first glance, I thought he was Searchman, but nope, this guy only had one head-an improvement already. He was definitely in that military theme, almost like a robo-marine. He only stood at the other end of the table, standing at military attention until I asked, "Alright, name?" "Arsenalman, SIR!" That was a bit overzealous.

"So uh…what brings you to think you can work in my unit?" "I wish to prove myself capable of carrying out the objective of any Wily-based machine, SIR!"

Yeah, that military mode makes him interesting... "So, what is the objective of any Wily-based machine?" He stood straighter, if that's even possible and replied, "To assist in the destruction of Megaman, to obey the commander in his operations, and to subjugate the human race, bringing it to its knees! SIR!" He followed by breaking attention and he pelvic thrusted, shouting, "HOO-HA!" before snapping back into attention.

"Ri-right..." Boy he's too enthusiastic about this, but he might just work. "What are your powers, Arsenal man?" "I used to have multiple built-in weapons, thus my name, but I had them removed for a standard plasma buster and numerous optional firearm armaments, SIR!" I raised an eyebrow and asked, "Why remove your weapons?" "Sir, it seemed against the betterment of the mission to keep the weapons. In the event I lost to Megaman, it would simply make him more powerful, and that is not the directive of a Wily-based machine, SIR!"

Wow, that made a lot of sense. Come to think of it, Megaman can't absorb anything from me either, what with us having the same weaponry.

"Okay, Arsenalman, you're in. Go enjoy the rest of the day, soldier." He saluted me, performed a flawless right face, and left the room.

-Interview 6: Tenguman

As he entered, I narrowed my eyes and said, "What the hell are you doing here? I specifically said to keep out of my way, you've lost repeatedly to Megaman." "Perhaps, Bass," He said with that arrogance in his voice. He crossed his arms and said, "But after my new power upgrades, I've reached a pinnacle of power previously thought impossible to attain! I dare say I'm stronger than YOU, Bass."

What…did…he say…?

"NEXT!" I shouted as the crushed remains of Tenguman flew out of the room and impacted the wall, once again proving that…

I'M

THE

MOST

POWERFUL

ROBOT MASTER

EVER!

-Interview 11: Otakuman

I swear, I didn't see this one coming in the least. He didn't even look like he was made to fight, what with his small frame and the big t-shirt that said 'BASS ROCKS' with a picture of me giving the finger…when did I make that shirt?

He sat down, fidgeting, but never taking his eyes off me. I let his squirm for a few minutes, since it was amusing, but it was time to get down to business. "Name?" Silence. "Look, squirt, what's your name?" His face slowly grew into a very large, toothy grin and his eyes lit up with…er…happiness?

"Oh my god," he said to himself, "I can't believe it…I can't believe Bass is talking to me, THE Bass…" "Uh…look, kid, I kinda have to talk to you, why wouldn't I?" His face grew into an even bigger smile and before I knew it, he was darting all over me, looking at my armor with varied 'oohs' and 'ahhs'.

"Okay kid, personal space!" I shouted as I pushed him away. He fell back and hit his butt, rubbing it a bit before he jumped up and shouted, "DUDE! Bass attacked me! He actually touched me! I can't believe it! This is so awesome! Aw man, I'm never taking a sonic shower again!"

What the hell was his problem? He's acting worse than Megaman when we run into each other during peacetime.

"Look, just tell me your name before I hurt you." "Hmmm…" He was actually considering what would be better, the name or the pain. Lucky for me, he decided to answer like a good little robot.

"The name's Otakuman! I'm your BIGGEST fan! I've got recordings of all your battles, I've got your action figures, I have all the video games, all the posters, and I have the rare, limited edition BassGS trading card!"

OKAY! This kid's creepy. I think he needs this just as much as I do.

"Hey, kid." "Yeah," he asked as he turned to me. "Dead bot says what?" "What?"

I blew his head off with a buster shot and he slumped to the floor. I normally don't kill Robot Masters like this, for no real reason, but I think his little mental problem with his infatuation might have led to trouble down the road. Ah well, now this mess needed to be cleaned.

"WOW! BASS KILLED ME!"

What the shit? I recognized that voice. It was Otakuman! He was standing there like I hadn't done anything to him! Okay, unless the rules of the universe have changed-and I really hate it when they do-you can't just stop being dead, so unless Wily's secretly the Reverse Flash™ and he managed to repair the guy at the speed of light, there's something seriously wrong.

I blasted him again, then a few more times for good measure, just to make sure. Now that his body was riddled with dents and holes, I was sure he was dead, but I didn't take my eyes off that corpse.

Good thing I didn't, I watched as his body…repaired…itself…wires came out of the body, undoing the damage I'd done, fixing dents and reattaching limbs and he was soon back on his feet.

"What are you?" I asked as I charged my buster. I was seriously prepared to kill him until he stayed dead at this point.

"I'm Otakuman, your ultimate fan!" "NO! I mean why aren't you still dead?" "Oh, that's my special power, I have a super fast repair system. It's experimental really, Dr. Wily decided to test it out in me, and as you can see, it works." He hugged me and I was about to rip him limb-from-limb, but alas, it wouldn't have worked. I just looked at him and pushed him off, asking, "How do I KILL you?" "Dunno," he replied honestly.

There's nothing worse than something you can't kill, but maybe he had his uses. After all, if I can't kill him, Megaman sure as hell can't either…but I don't know…he's still creepy in that fan boy kind of way. I can tell it by looking at him, he's clingy…and probably a stalker.

"Okay kid, you're in, but seriously, don't bother me until it's time for the operation." "Aww, but man, you're so awesome, I mean no one else can actually boast never being destroyed before!" "Uh…how about this…er…Starman has this plushie of me that he made all by himself…why don't you go find him and take it from him? I'm sure he won't miss it."

He squealed something…I'm…I'm not sure what, but he rushed out of the room and I sincerely needed a break. Of course, with all these waiting Robot Masters, I don't know if I want to leave them waiting…

I walked out of the room and pondered a bit. Technically…they're only supposed to wear the blue dweeb down, so I can finish him off when he reaches the last chamber…and then the very fortress is supposed to be more dangerous than any of the lackeys I hire…I guess I can risk it.

"You, you, and you!" I shouted, pointing to three, "Step forward and give me your names." "Photonman." "SMASHMAN!" "Boltman!"

I nodded, they'd do and I'd actually think about the rest.

I got a quick rundown on their powers.

Photonman was tall and thin, but his armor was pretty tough. The guy had pointed ears and never spoke in a contraction, nor did he raise his voice. His special power was…well he…shot those neat little photon torpedoes from Star Trek, which means he's more than likely inspired by Wily's multiple Sci-fi nights…he says they're a bonding experience, I say they're a waste of time.

Smashman was practically a golem. He flexed his muscles repeatedly, and sure they were large, but come on, he's just a damn robot. Turned out he had strength that put Gutsman to shame and his arms could turn into hammers that were strong enough to make tremors and shockwaves and when he was asked what he'd do against Megaman, it was something like, "I'd smash him and thrash him and snap his puny spine and smash him again and eat him and smash him inside me again! SMASHMAN!" -Sigh-an idiot, well…they're all idiots…but this…well…at least he'll be smashing Megaman.

Boltman had a Trojan theme to him, and heavy gold. There was a sheathed sword by his side, but it might just be for show. He kept talking about how he served in Olympus and was rewarded by Zeus with the power of lightning…he seems to forget that Wily made him. Nevertheless, he had power to his name, so I shrugged it off, but it was seriously time for a break.

I decided on a snack, and on my way to the kitchen, saw Starman and Otakuman fighting over a stuffed mini-me. "Give it, pretender!" Otakuman shouted. "Never! I made it, it belongs to me!" Starman replied, and they eventually got into one of those really girly slapping contests. I laughed, then handed Otakuman a bat and Starman a golf club, then left them to their devices.

I made a quick sandwich and poured the last of the coffee, then I retreated to my room. What I saw nearly made me drop my coffee…nearly.

First off…there was FLOOR! I could actually see the red carpeting of my room! None of my junk was there anymore! Next were the dresser and vanity mirror set up to the side of the room, a few lamps that cast a rather relaxing glow in the room, and a bed, holy crap, I actually DID have a bed in here!

Wow, Creampuff cleaned my room? Where'd all my junk go? Where's my laptop? Where's Creampuff? Where the heck's Treble?

As if on cue, Roll emerged from…what the crap? I have a closet? Yeah, apparently I do, a big, walk-in one. Treble followed her, sticking by her side like ordered, but when he saw me, forgot all about his duty and begged me for attention, to which, even in my confused state, I gave. It was about then that I noticed Roll was dressed in a maid outfit and had one of those feather dusters, dusting one of my knickknacks, it was one of my old miniature models of Wily Castle.

"Bass!" she shouted happily and hugged me, forcing my reply of, "Three…second…rule…" and she quickly let go. She then spun around and said, "Ta-da! What do you think?" Asking my opinion of the room, and I had to answer truthfully. "Where's all my junk?" She frowned a bit, but replied, "I had your friends put it in storage, I figured you'd get really angry if I just tossed it away." "Damn straight, Creampuff, now where's my laptop?" "Oh I left important looking things here. Your laptop's under the bed so it wouldn't get in my way." "Oh…well the room looks nice, I guess I'll try and keep it clean…but don't look for any miracles."

She smiled as I retrieved my laptop and sat on the bed, quickly checking it over for damage, but it was fine. She couldn't have tampered with it, since the password for my computer is so ridiculously simple that it's complex, so I didn't worry about that either.

I leaned back on the bed and sighed before realizing I had steaming coffee waiting for me, and I tended to that and occasionally took a bite out of the sandwich, but after Roll's cooking, it felt like I was doing my taste buds a disservice. It was around then that she asked me a question.

"Bass…what's this?"

I looked up and she was holding the upperhalf of a Robot Master that I didn't recognize at first, but it soon became clear who it was. "B-b-bass…" King's upperhalf stuttered. "Wh-wh-why m-m-must I b-be subje-je-jected to this?"

I started laughing, but halted when I saw the horrified look on Roll's face…then laughed harder.

Hoo boy, you know the story, right? How King was basically supposed to replace me, and Wily had an overcomplicated plan for him to execute, most of which he didn't know about? Yeah, well after I kicked his ass, I decided to take as much of him that was left as a trophy, y'know, because I'm evil like that.

"Oh, him, that's just King, well…a toppled king." I chuckled as his heavily beaten and bruised body sputtered, desperately trying to hold on to life.

"Y-y-y-you've kept me he-he-HERE for-for over-er-er a y-year, either k-k-kill me, or le-let me-me-me g-g-g-go."

I shrugged, putting my coffee down and shoveling the rest of my sandwich in my mouth, before replying, "You're right, I'm so sorry, I'll kill you." I heard a sniffle and realized that Roll was trying to fight a tear and it hit me just how cruel I appeared at the moment. Yeesh, I might really hurt her feelings and then its POOF, goodbye to clean rooms and well-cooked meals!

"Roll, I was only kidding," I lied. "I'm going to take him off to Wily RIGHT now and let Wily see what he can do to fix him up, but I can't make any promises." She looked at me with contempt, not believing me, so she put the feather duster down and said, "Fine, but I'm coming with you."

I tried to change her mind, but she was adamant about it, so I hoisted a stuttering, complaining King over my shoulder and we went off to find Wily, who of course was still in his room…and I ain't going in there. What that man does on his personal time is all on him.

Realizing that I'd have to venture in Wily's room, I turned to her and was about to call it off, but she stared at me with these wide eyes and pouted and in the maid outfit…I couldn't fight back for some odd reason…damn Wily and the invention of robo-hormones.

Wily has the last room on the fifteenth floor of Wily Castle, the entire floor, other than him, is empty, since no one wants to live near him. Because of that, there was a rather small amount of maintenance involved in the floor. Wily probably being the type that either doesn't care or wouldn't spend his time doing little things like changing lightbulbs or cleaning the area. Combine that with the fact that no one wants to go to this floor, and it's a dump.

We walked together, King silent thanks to the duct tape I strapped over his mouth, and she leaned against me in the dark, grabbing my hand. I guess considering the atmosphere, I couldn't blame her, and considering the man behind the door, I told her, "You're never to come here and clean, that's an order. Let the old man wallow in his filth." She sheepishly nodded.

We reached the door and I was about to open it, but the handle was covered in…something. I decided against it and knocked, but there was no reply, so I knocked harder and shouted, "DOC! Get out here before I blow your door down and set fire to the whole damn floor!"

An, "I'm coming, I'm coming," was heard and Wily opened the door, hair in a curling iron and he in a bathrobe and I made a note to delete the image when I left. "What do you want, Bass?" he snarled and I simply chucked King at him and said, "Fix this."

King's weight took Wily off-balance and he crashed back into his room and I didn't want to see what mess it caused, so I took Roll and left, and as we reached the lower levels again, she kept staring at me. It was fine at first, but it was starting to get annoying.

"What?" I asked with annoyance seething in my voice. "You weren't…gonna get King fixed, were you?" Damn, I was hoping she would've forgotten that. "Not really, no," I replied. "Why'd you take him then? Take him to Wily?" "Because you tagged along, duh." "But you're…well…YOU…if you wanted to, you could have killed King anyways."

Damn she had a good point, but what effect would killing King have had on her? I rather enjoy the thought of SOMEONE who can cook in the Castle and damn if I haven't seen the floor in my room for like three years.

Somewhere in my pondering, she got in front of me and stared at me with those eyes of hers and I remarked, "Well I didn't want to see you upset and leave or anything…I…I mean I didn't want you to leave and then we'd be stuck with crap cooking again, and who'd clean my room, and," Something told her to smile and she hopped on her toes and planted a kiss on the gem in my forehead before skipping off in the direction of my…our? No, MY room. You declared it this morning, Bass, she's a pet, sure you didn't mean that, but you did!

It was then that I realized that quite a few Robot Masters were staring at me. "What?" I asked, wearily. "She uh…she kissed you…" Cutman said. "Yeah…and?" I said it like I didn't know…but Cutman continued, "But you didn't kill her…" Ugh, probably the worst show of weakness ever…I should salvage this. "You're right," I told him as I walked to him and calmly placed my hands on his shoulders. "I think we're due for some misplaced aggression, what do you think?" Before Cutman could answer, I removed his head from the rest of his body.

I removed the scissors from his head and…well…I didn't kill anyone, but I did inflict numerous lacerations on about twenty Robot Masters…well…and I killed Otakuman again, mainly because he deserved it for being the damn most unkillable thing I've ever seen.

I left back for the conference room and took in my next applicant, some loser that called himself Robot Man…you know the one. You don't? Did none of you read Doom Patrol? It was a DC comic, come on people, where do you think that Beast Boy guy got his start before the Teen Titans! Ugh, you're all a bunch of animals, just a lot of self-important monkeys whose lives are too busy to actually read a comic book…no, don't try and look him up online, you've already lost the joke, I don't know who you are, who's reading this, but you're definitely not getting a Christmas present from me this year.

Interview 37: Nuclearman

Ah hell no. It was him…Nuclearman. He had a medium build, basically built around a big, freakin' nuke. There's even one of those signs on him that warns about radioactivity. I don't know what compelled Wily to build him, frankly I don't care, all I know is I wish he'd go away.

Aside from being a nuke, he also fires miniature, pure fission, nuclear devices, which, for the uninformed, are nukes that despite their small size, still pack a huge punch, and don't leave the same radioactive fallout as standard nuclear armaments.

Problem is, I'm pretty sure he and Grenademan were cut from the same mold…since they both LOVE to explode…problem is…Grenademan's explosions are contained…you can't very well contain a nuke.

See, in the event that Nuclearman loses a battle, he's supposed to self-destruct, but only on those pretenses. Unfortunately, he managed to work past the numerous safety protocols put in his body and eventually reached the inhibitor installed in him to keep him from 'accidentally' lighting off the Castle in a blaze of nuclear glory…so he can pretty much explode at will…luckily for me, I've never been caught in a blast, but it's cost us like six or seven castles.

"BASS!" He shouted as he pounded the table. "I wish to beat Megaman! Let me give it a try! Come on!" He glinted a smile as the warning sign on his chest began to beep.

Shit, he was gonna do it, he was gonna explode, right here, right now. Damn it, winding up dead will put my plans back a bit, there has to be something I can do here!

"Uh sure Nuclearman, you're totally in, but you know, if you explode now, you can't fight Megaman. Why don't you get Grenademan to fire off a few rounds at you?" "Sure thing, Bass," he cried as he gave me a crushing bearhug, that warning sign on his chest finally dieing down.

Hmm… surely Nuclearman's armor can take a jostle from a few grenades, right? Wily made him, Wily made him, I can't take anything for granted…consequently, I'm going to have to kick out the cash for some of that REALLY EXPENSIVE material that's supposed to be able to take nuclear explosions and line his room in the fortress with it, otherwise, we'll have a problem.

"Hey, Nuclearman, what's your blast radius?" "About thirty feet, why?"

Okay, thirty feet…taking into account that most Robot Masters can't count past seven…

"Before you go nuts with Grenademan, you need to travel far, FAR away from the Castle…uhm…so far that you can't even see it…then keep walking for a little while longer…it's uh…training."

Lucky for me, he bought it and left, taking Grenademan with him.

Interview 42: Overdriveman

Never saw this one before, but he merely entered and sat down with a brief, "Good day, I am Overdriveman." With a name like that, you'd think he'd be hyper or something, but he was actually acting calm…calmer than most…more than likely the calmest interview today.

I got a good look at his gold armor and his brown ponytail and wondered why the hell Wily gave a few of us hair. It's like he wanted us to be as human as possible, though it looked cool on this guy, I guess.

We actually had an enjoyable talk about his powers, he relied heavily on his martial art skills, ranging from Tai Chi to Jeet Kun-Do. Just those alone made him dangerous. A neat little tidbit of info is that Jeet Kun-Do is the Way of the Intercepting Fist, developed by famous martial artist, Bruce Lee. No doubt that this guy was in, but then he gave me a new surprise.

"When my health is threatened, I can achieve Overdrive. It's a very complicated process where a nitrous-like substance is injected into my body, upping my speed threefold and doubling my strength, but it's very quick, only about 15 seconds before it runs out and needs to recharge, but when I reach near death, I become locked in the ability. Though the drawback is the incredible amount of energy it requires and the stress it puts on my body, it wears me out quickly if abused."

I blinked a few moments, realizing that he actually explained something complicated to me and didn't have to go for one of those 'Hooked on Phonics' help pamphlets to do it. Yeah, he was definitely going to work out for me.

With a hearty handshake, I told him, "You're in, welcome to the team."

Interview 78: Timeman

Ugh, there were so many failures, like Monkeyman, who flung poop, and Gasman…who uh…had gas…that was about it…so I took a small break to leave him in a room with Flameman, Fireman, Burnerman, Swordman, and just about any other flame-based Robot Master I could think of at the time. So it was damn time that I got this stuff over with.

I didn't recognize this one either, this little yellow guy that came in the room and sat down. "I'm Timeman," he said shyly. "Welcome Timeman, well, little guy, I bet I can guess your powers."

His eyes went from shy to angry in like a second and he shouted, "I'M NOT LITTLE!" His voice advocated depression and he added, "This is just how I was built, you understand that, right?" He then beamed a smile at me before I could answer him.

Methinks the boy has mental problems. I don't need mental problems on this trip, I've probably invited enough as it is, what with Smashman and Arsenalman, maybe even Boltman's vulcanlike attitude and DEFINITELY with Nuclearman…

"Sorry, I don't think I can use you."

His eyes welled with tears before he forced down a chuckle, quickly followed by those tears again as his face flushed red. "You can too use me! I'm not useless!" He sobbed uncontrollably, shouting out how he could be the perfect addition to my team, and all the bawling was getting to me. If I destroyed him and Wily rebuilt him, then what? Would he follow me around like Otakuman…who is…behind my chair…damn it…

I dispatched of Otakuman in a gruesome fashion and rather than dispose of the body, I handed him to Skullman, that should keep them both occupied. Then I turned my attention to the crying Timeman who shouted, "You're a meanie! I hate you! I wish you'd never have been built!" His eyes shifted and he said, "No, I wish I'd never have been built," his voice was now trailing depression.

This had to stop. I put my hand on his shoulder and said, "Hey, calm down. I was only messing with you, it's uh…what…friends do? I mean, after all, you're part of the team." I groaned on the inside. Sure I'm supposed to be the cruel Bass, master of all machines of Wily Castle, but I also need to avoid future problems, since I have enough. As much as it pained me, I'd rather be his friend now than be a victim of his foolish and doomed attempts at revenge later on, and trust me, I think he'd go through with revenge.

"Do ya mean it?" He asked as the tears stopped and a smile took over his face. In a flash, it was like he'd never been sad at all and he hugged me, saying, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I would have pushed him off, but that might have started another episode. I patted him on the head before sending him on his way.

Robot Masters picked, even if some aren't the most mentally stable, fortress selected, all that was left was to alter the fortress to the specifics of my virtual design and supply the rooms for the Robot Masters since those would have to be customized…that would take nearly a month…oh yeah, and there was the challenge to Megaman, after all, he actually had to know where to be.

Hmmm…how to go about challenging Megaman…there's always the direct approach.

"Hello?" Megaman said as he answered his front door, only to be greeted with my fist to his face. "OW! Bass! What was that for?" "Hey dweeb, I'm calling you out!" "Wha-what?" he said as he rubbed his nose. "Wily's at it again?" "NO! This is all me! I'm going to attack the entire world with every ounce of Wily's forces if you don't come to Bass Fortress at the end of next month! Only THEN will the location be revealed to you!"

Megaman narrowed his eyes, gaining a sly look, and he said, "Did Wily put you up to this?" "NO, you moron! This is me, MY plan!" He stifled a laugh and said, "Wily would never let you have your own plan, you're pulling my leg." "I'll rip your leg off if you want, but it's true, this is my plan!"

We argued a bit more, I punched him in the face a couple more times, but he stayed adamant about believing that I'd never have my own plan and it was all some kind of joke or something, then he got the wild idea that it was Roll's idea and that was it, he shut the door and left me standing outside.

"Damn it dweeb! I'm serious! I'm going to destroy the whole damn planet if you don't answer my challenge!"

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! I was just blown off…by the DWEEB? I fired my buster at the building a few times, only to have fully-charged shots merely dent the surface-apparently Light reinforced the damn thing since I wrecked it so many times-and I went home, a scowl on my face.

It was late when I got in, so I didn't expect to run into much in the way of Robot Masters, but there was Starman, dripping wet, standing there in a towel wrapped around his chest like he was a woman, with another towel on his head.

"Uh…hi." I said before trying to leave, but he stopped me, putting a hand on either shoulder and he said, "I can't believe you, Bass! I heard, I heard about that girl…I thought we had something! All those years of you playing hard-to-get, and you go off with some floozy? I…I…I can't take it, Bass! You need to choose between us, right now!"

What the HELL was he talking about? Oh right, he's a fruit. Still…where'd he get the idea that I was even remotely interested in him?

Then…then he did something COMPLETELY unforgivable! He placed his lips on mine and totally mouthed me! It was shock combined with a short-circuit in my logic center that prevented me from killing him on the spot as my systems rebooted. He broke the kiss and stared at my eyes, saying, "Choose me, okay?"

-Sigh-example time. Oh I'll choose him alright.

It took an hour or so to successfully shove each of his parts down Wily's industrial strength disposal unit, but I got rid of Starman, once and for all, or at least until Wily rebuilds him. So after a MUCH NEEDED brushing of the teeth and gargling with acid, I decided to turn in for the night, only to see Creampuff in my capsule again, curled up with that stupid cat of hers, both fast asleep.

Treble was sitting at the foot of the bed and I only glared at him, letting that girl take my capsule again, and he merely yawned and zonked out on the bed, which did look rather comfy, and after today, all I wanted was sleep.

I laid on the bed and instantly realized that when you're in battle armor and your helmet has fins, it's VERY HARD to get comfortable on a bed…so I did something I haven't done in a long, long time, I removed my combat armor.

So there I was, my black armor sitting next to the bed as I stood there in the gray jumpsuit underneath. I finally removed my helmet and ran a finger through my short, white hair. I'm pretty sure it used to be blonde, but meh, white's a kind of blonde I guess.

Vulnerable, that's what it felt like, to tell you the truth. It had been so long before I'd taken the armor off that I felt naked. Still, no chickening out now, right? After all, what's Roll gonna do to me if she takes advantage of the situation, hit me with the feather duster?

I climbed into the bed, which was now adorned with a black comforter and gray sheets, matching my armor, and I nudged Treble with my foot, him still at the foot of the bed, before going to sleep.

I woke up feeling crowded, so I opened my eyes, and due to the lack of light, it wasn't really morning yet, but I learned why I was so claustrophobic…Creampuff was in the bed too, snuggled to my side…my currently unarmored side…

Ah hell no.

I pushed her out of the bed and she groggily got up, saying, "What was that for?" "You damn well know what that was for! What the hell were you thinking, getting in the bed!" She thought it over, sleep wearing off, and she replied, "Well the capsule was really uncomfortable and got kinda cold, and the bed looked so comfy and you're so much warmer than the capsule…so I climbed into bed with you."

"Well if the capsule was so damn uncomfortable, why the hell did you get in it?" I asked as I sat up in the bed, arms crossed. "Well you're the one that called me the pet, so I figured you'd want the more comfortable sleeping conditions, so I gave you the bed, but two nights in a row in a capsule? It's murder…"

She rubbed her neck and I got up, out of the bed and said, "Here, take it." I put my armor back on and headed for the capsule, only to hear, "You don't have to, it's not like the end of the world's going to occur if we sleep together." "Like hell it won't, Creampuff. I'm going to bed in the capsule, you're sleeping in the bed, that's final." "What, too scared to share a bed?"

Crud, that's probably my biggest weakness, pride. I sure as hell can't act like she scares me, or something as innocent as sleeping does…so I sighed and took the armor back off and we climbed into the bed, a happy noise coming from her as I turned my back to her, facing the wall.

"Goodnight, Bass."

"…Go to sleep before I reset your internal memory…"

Morning came and I once again found Roll in the kitchen, cooking up a storm, presenting the Robot Masters their food before I got my own plate, this time the pancakes were shaped like Treble and Tango…how the hell does she do that?

Regardless, I mulled over the problem of challenging Megaman to Dr. Wily, who only guffawed and said my plan had failed before going off to the farther reaches of the Castle, but Roll said, "Rock's like that. He only assumes you're following orders and can't possibly be willing to lead an assault on the world…" "Uh-huh, that whole 'there's goodness in every machine' crap?" She nodded before asking, "You're not gonna hurt him too badly, are you? I mean I'm still mad at him, but he's my brother."

I sighed and patted her on the head, saying, "Relax, all I need do is prove I'm superior to Wily, for all we know, that'll entail only subduing Megaman, not eliminating him," even though I completely intended on vaporizing the blue bug. Still, it would he hard to challenge Megaman if he just can't take me seriously, like only humans could threaten the world, more like just Wily…

I talked the problem over with a few of the Robot Masters that were more manageable than the others.

"So, Megaman will only come if he thinks it's Wily?" Elecman asked and I nodded. "And Wily's not gonna help you at all, we can guess that," Crystalman said. "Yarrr, what'll ye be doing then, me bucko," Pirateman asked. I shrugged, I guess I could destroy a small country to prove I was serious, but that might move things along too fast… "I think I have a plan," Crystalman said, looking off into space…oh boy.

"No way," I murmured as Crsytalman's plan became apparent. "No flipping way! He's not this stupid!" "Come on Bass," Elecman chimed, "At least it's an idea."

I stood in front of a very crudely designed stage in a box, set up on a table in front of a viewscreen that Crystalman was using. In my hand was a sock puppet of Dr. Wily, Elecman had one of myself, and Pirateman had a very hastily done Roll, which looked the crappiest of the three.

Now this part might get kinda confusing…because it confused the hell outta me.

Remember:

I play the role of Dr. Wily

Elecman plays the role of me, Bass

Pirateman plays the role of Roll

This is so not gonna work.

We got in our places behind the stage and Crystalman gave us a go, Megaman's face appearing on the viewscreen.

"Hello?" he asked, confused, can't say I blame him.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" I shouted in my best, nasally impression of Dr. Wily as I brought the sock puppet of the mad doctor into view.

"WILY!" he shouted…wait…he actually believed this?

"Uhm…yes, it is I, the GREAT DOCTOR WILY, come to give you a challenge, Megaman. You fell right into my trap, letting Bass kidnap your sister…right Bass? BASS!"

I kicked Elecman under the table and whispered, "That's your cue!"

"Oh!" Elecman shouted and he sprouted his Bass sock puppet, trying his best to imitate my voice, but failing badly.

"I'm so cool, look at me, all other Robot Masters PALE in comparison to me," Elecman said with dry sarcasm, making me look like an ass, so I kicked him again.

I spoke up as Wily again and said, "Now she's in my clutches and I'll destroy her at the end of the next month if you don't come to her aid!"

Megaman shook his head and said, "I saw Bass! He would never let anything happen to her!"

"Oh really?" I said, fighting down the need to vomit, as I was impersonating Wily. "Bass, drag his pitiful sister out here!"

"I'll do it," Elecman said, still impersonating me, "But not because I take orders, but because I'm so awesome that it's COOL to follow orders."

"Stop milking it, you idiot," I told him silently as Pirateman deployed his puppet of Roll, but he didn't say anything. "Damn it, say your line," I hissed, and he said, "Yarr, I don't be seeing why I have to play the lass," just a little too loudly, and in equal volume, I shouted, "Just say the damn lines!"

"Yar, oh help me, help me oh dearest brother of mine, I love ye like the depths of Davy Jones' locker!" He said, trying to girl up his voice.

"What the hell was that?" I hissed to Pirateman, under the table. "Yar, that be how I talk, have a problem with it, then bite me, laddie."

We got into a small kicking contest, exchanging blows, forgetting Megaman was on the viewscreen, while Elecman helped himself to the puppet of Roll, using both hands now, making an odd conversation.

"Come on baby, you know I'm irresistible," he said with the Bass puppet. "Oh Bass, you're a brute, a horrible, monstrous brute, but I find myself drawn to you," He had the Roll puppet say, before he clasped his hands, making the puppets embrace each other and he had the Roll puppet say, "Oh kiss me, kiss me and have your way with me!" "With pleasure," His Bass puppet said before I kicked Pirateman just a little too hard, making him jump.

A jumping Pirateman equals the table getting knocked over, exposing all three of us from underneath the stage in a crash and we all stood up, embarrassed. "Ah shit," I said to myself as I smacked Pirateman, who merely shrugged. "Whoops," Elecman said as he let the sock puppets drop from his hands. Crystalman smacked himself in the face and stomped off, and I tried my best to salvage the situation, "Uh…Megaman…look…er…"

"OH…MY…GOSH!" Megaman shouted before adding, "Wily! Your mad experiment hideously disfigured yourself and my sister! How could you? I'm going to get you back for what you did to her if it's the last thing I do! I'll be at your fortress, count on it!"

He then cut the transmission, leaving the three of us VERY shocked indeed.

"How the HELL did that work out?" I asked my companions, but they were equally shocked.

No matter, at least Megaman has the message and he'll be there, oh he'll be there.

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Ending Notes: Next time, Bass and company complete the dangerous Bass Fortress and lure Megaman into the fight of his life, will Megaman survive or be destroyed? Find out next time!

Elecman: The Author would like to thank you for reading this far into the series and encourages more fan-produced Robot Masters, but we already existing Robot Masters have a set of requests we'd like you, the fan, to ask of the Author, since he won't listen to us.

Flameman: We'd like to DIE less, or at least have less painful deaths, at the very least, a generally lower amount of pain would be welcome.

Tenguman: I, the great TENGUMAN, request that you ask the Author to give me more time in the future chapters, after all, I AM the true star of the story.

Starman: I'd really, REALLY like it if Bass came to understand that only I can fill the void in his life, not that damn blonde bimbo he brought home, so come on readers, help me out!

Gutsman: Pie, pie, pie, pie, pie, pie, pie, pie, pie, pie, pie, pie…

Ringman: This is an important one…please have him include more GIRLBOTS in the story. After all, we don't need people thinking we're all a bunch of Closetmen.

Skullman: Please have him change the name of the story to The Misadventures of Bass and Skullman. I _SO _want to be Bass's sidekick…I so want to kill them…_all_…hey, I wasn't even IN this chapter, what gives?

Crystalman: I'm with Ringman, more chickbots…I mean what, look at Roll all day? Bass will freakin' kill us…

Author: Yeah, the rest of them are just gonna complain about being in a castle with hundreds of guys and that they want more women…they're guys…stupid guys at that, what'll you think they'd want, puppies?

Diveman: OOH! I want a puppy, I want a puppy!

Author: Yeah…this chapter is so over now…thanks for reading, please review!


	5. Judgement Day

The room was silent, with a six-foot African American male at a computer, the silence was broken by the musical talents of Voltaire, but all that came to a crashing end as I, the mighty and terrifying Bass burst through his wall and aimed my buster at him.

"Just what the HELL is up with not updating my story in like FOUR DAMN MONTHS!?" "B-B-BASS!" The poor fool shouted as he fell out of his chair. "Look man, I'm sorry and all, it's just…online games like Ragnarok, playing Disgaea 2, oh and Samurai Warriors 2, I mean those things take a guy's attention away."

I growled a little, crossing my arms as I said, "You mean you've been depriving the world of something as important as ME just because YOU got caught up in your stupid video games?" "Pretty much," he said with a shrug, "Would you care for some tea?"

That's Battles, while Wily might be my creator, Battles is my author for the story, and a LAZY one at that! "Hey," he shouted, "I'm typing the damn story, I can tell everything you're saying to me when you address the audience!" "Good!" I barked back, "So tell me why the hell you think games are more important than ME!"

Battles looked off and sighed, saying, "They aren't really, but come on, games can get addicting." "You know," I began, "Most people's excuses are better…like classes or family problems…" Battles laughed and said, "When DOESN'T my family have problems?"

I waved my hand indignantly at him and said, "Right, well…are you going to update my story or not?" "After I get one more level on my knight in Ragnarok!"

I sighed grumpily and said, "How about I blow your head off and get one of your loser friends to write the story?" He laughed a bit and said, "They wouldn't do half as good a job as me and you know it." "Yeah well…" I walked over to his computer and logged him out of his game, much to his dismay.

"HEY YOU JERK!" he shouted, but I didn't listen, instead I opened up Microsoft Word for him, actually took the time to give him a cup of that damn tea he always drinks, shoved him back in his chair, and growled "TYPE!"

He resigned himself to his seat, mumbling something like, "Razza-frackin' fictional character, comes barging into my house and makes me write his damn story rather than play my heavily addicting games…"

"HEY! If you don't get my next chapter up soon, I swear to God I'm going to vaporize all your Yu-Gi-Oh! cards and make you eat the ash!"

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Some Author's Notes: Hey, it's been a while, huh? Sorry, I never knew how addicting online games could get, I offer you my humblest apologies and please, please, PLEASE make sure Bass doesn't vaporize my cards, I've been collecting those for years, come on people, I have Slifer and Ra! I have the Blue Eyes Shining Dragon! The Red Eyes Darkness Dragon…KURIBOH! Well who doesn't have that one? Regardless, join us for the long since overdue next installment of the Misadventures of Bass, now, with the season to be giving, Bass is getting ready to give Megaman the beating of his life. Will he succeed? Read on to find out!

Thanks to Arakxii for Molly and Mickey!

Pesky Disclaimer: Don't own Bass, Megaman, Wily, or any of these bloody awesome Robot Masters and the like that were all made by Capcom, but in a perfect world, the Misadventures of Bass would be reality and many, many of you would have fallen to Skullman.

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Bass here, feels like I haven't talked in ages for some…unknown reason. Anyways, you know how the day usually starts, I wake up, polish the armor, reflect on one of my many regrets, like living with the dweeb's sister, before realizing she cooks like a goddess and getting over it…yeah let's skip all that, we can move ahead to say…ten in the morning.

Well here we are at the mall, I'm still not sure how the Creampuff talked me into it…probably some combination of great food and my programming falling prey to the robotic equivalent of hormones…I hate you Wily…anyways, here we are, and what are we doing? We're CLOTHES SHOPPING…

"Bass, don't you think you'd look cute in this shirt?" She asked, holding up some item of clothing I wasn't paying attention to. Frankly, I was far too paranoid, out in public, no armor on, wearing conventional clothes, but at least it can always get worse…never say it won't or…well it will.

-Sigh-I don't need this. I've had so many setbacks on my fortress, I mean fifth day into it, we lost Burnerman, which…well it was fine by me, I'm pretty sure that guy's permanently stoned…then came trying to lodge a giant replica of my helmet over the huge-ass freakin' skull outside…we lost many Robot Masters that day…but at least the skull looks sweet.

Regardless, it was getting REALLY boring when I got a call on the cellphone I'm forced to use since I'm out of my armor. "Bass here," I said, answering my phone, as I got some sort of scowl from Roll, I guess because I wasn't paying her any attention…she acts like we're on a date or something…wait a tick…we aren't, are we?

Anyways, Elecman answered, sounding heavily surprised. "Bass, you won't believe this! You got to come to Bass Fortress, right away!" I sighed, "Is this really necessary," I asked. "It really is, it'll change the face of Robot Masters forever!" I blinked before asking, "You mean into something a little less retarded?" "No, into something a little less Closetman!"

Holy crap…that could only mean one thing…no way, no freakin' way…that would mean…but I swore the Doc…no freakin' way…I quickly said, "I'm on my way," Before turning to Roll and saying, "Sorry Creampuff, we gotta go, I think we're going to see the most amazing thing Wily ever did besides make me." I produced my keys and hit the call button and in a few seconds, the Skull Ship burst through the ceiling of the mall and landed in front of us, which…caused a LOT of chaos…and I recorded every ounce of it.

"Was that necessary," Roll asked. I shrugged and replied, "What, and actually walk back? Hey, I gave them a sunroof, they should be thanking me. Now, shall we go?" I held the door open for her, more to get her moving than any real politeness, and we departed, around the time people started shooting at us…so I retaliated…by ejecting the cargo hold…which was full of Crashman's latest culinary experiment, hard candies.

Now they're already heavy as hell, consider that as hundreds fall from high in the sky through a recently made sunroof onto unsuspecting people…now imagine the poor fool that actually tries to eat one.

Well it only took a couple hours before we landed in my nearly completed Bass Fortress and Elecman rushed to us, quickly ushering me inside as I told Roll to just go off and play with those stupid mettool things, you know head, hardhat, legs, that's it…surprisingly, they're excellent at construction work. You'd think that'd be a challenge…without arms.

Regardless, Roll occupied, Elecman led me through a bunch of corridors into one of Wily's old rooms that we'd yet to explore, and what I see makes my jaw drop. It was…a girl…a robot girl. She looked cute enough, a yellow top, red shorts, brown-laced boots, with her hair in a long braid. Topping off Sleeping Beauty's look was a bandana…or should I say topping off Sleeping Beauty's look was Cutman sticking his head in her chest compartment.

"What the HELL are you doing, you perverted excuse for a toaster!?" I yelled and he jumped back. "I was uh…just you know, making sure she was a real girl and not one of those remodeled guybots." …That's actually a good move, despite the perversion…I mean she IS in Wily Castle after all and he's not exactly one for making chickbots.

Still I yanked Cutman out of her and prepared to close her chest compartment when two things caught my eye, one, her processor, not a Wily design, I recognized it, totally Dr. Light's work, figured. I knew Dr. Wily would never make a chick. Secondly, her ID was SWN-002…the hell? I'm SWN-001, I'm in a classification all my own, her sharing my ID would mean some type of family relation, like she's my little sister and since Dr. Light would never do such a thing…_WILY_…

I stormed out of the room and into the communication's booth, quickly pulling up video feed of the insane doctor in question. "Bass," He happily said, "How goes construction? Almost ready to try and fail against Megaman?" "Cut the crap, Doc. I found something you left here." Dr. Wily rubbed his chin before replying, "Whatever could it be?"

I sighed, then said, "Cute girl bot, made with Dr. Light parts with my ID code on her. Since you don't build cute girl bots, I'm assuming you somehow…_STOLE _her from Dr. Light…then abandoned her in a fortress that hasn't been used since the damn seventh Wily War! Why the HELL did you use my ID code, anyways?!"

Wily fidgeted for a bit before stammering, "Well…er…I uh…that is to say…well…let's go with…no…uhm…SSSKRRRR!!! You-you're KRRRRRRR! You're breaking up Bass! KRRRR!! I can barely make out your transmission!"" I had to sigh again before saying, "Doc, we're on a video communication…I can see you making these ridiculous noises." He paused for a good, long time before shouting, "Then you can see me terminate communications!" "Wait, no Doc, just-" It was too late, he cut the line. Note to self…hurt Wily later…with something long…circular…something to bludgeon him with…like a bat…or better yet, Tenguman, I haven't bludgeoned anyone with Tenguman in a while.

Well I made it back to the room with our Sleeping Beauty and found out…she wasn't sleeping anymore. She was sitting up, looking around, while Elecman was currently stomping a fallen Cutman.

"What the HELL, you guys!?" I shouted. "Just kept touching and touching until she turned on, huh?!" Elecman stopped stomping Cutman and turned to me before rubbing the back of his head. It was around then I noticed a large pair of scissors embedded in his arm, a few sparks shooting out and he nervously said, "Well Cutman was being a perverted jerk, so I shot a thunder beam by his foot. He jumped, fell back, accidentally let a pair of scissors fly, it hit me in the arm, I shot off another thunder beam and BOOM, she turned on…hasn't said much though."

The girl spoke up, what a cute voice…stupid robot hormones…damn Wily, she's obviously off-limits, even if she is Light manufactured, as long as she shares my ID…regardless, she said, "Actually, I've been trying to ask them what's going on, where I am, why they were hurting each other, things like that." "Oh…" Elecman said, "Guess I couldn't hear you over the whole…me stomping the crap out of Cutman for shoving a pair of scissors in my arm…"

I sighed, slapped my hand to my face, and could only say, "Carry on." Elecman happily began beating the shit out of Cutman again as I leaned over them and said, "Oh, and Cutman, when we get back, I'm letting Skullman kill you." Cutman gulped between stomps and Elecman even stopped stomping him, saying, "Man, you're gonna get it WAY worse, later…" and he walked off.

Cutman got to his knees and grabbed my leg, saying, "Can't YOU kill me? I mean you do it so much better…so much neater." Aww, he's aiming for sympathy by trying to butter me up…meh. "I know, I kill a lot more efficiently than Skullman, but he does it so much more messier…so much more…_creative_."

It was about then that a voice oozing with death said, "When we get back, I'm going to take the scissors on your head and peel your armor off, one layer at a time before I feed it to you. Then I'm going to eat your feet and hands, then dine on your CPU before I throw the rest of your body at orphans, piece by piece."

Everyone whirled around to see Skullman at the entrance, almost drooling with the smile he had on his face. He actually…oh god, he hugged me and thanked me for the gift that would be Cutman's future corpse and I had to ask, "Skullman, you weren't authorized to work on my fortress, what are you doing here?" He shrugged and replied, "I was following you and Roll…I was underneath the Skullship." "…Why?" "There are some things that go better unsaid."

Skullman had a point, but still, there are things that don't need to be answered and things that DAMN WELL need to be answered, and guess which one this was? Before I could even further my inquiry on Skullman, Cutman began pleading, "PLEASE! JUST BLOW MY HEAD OFF, YOURSELF! I BEG YOU!"

It was around now that our quiet, not-so Sleeping Beauty spoke up and said, "Excuse me, I'm very confused, what's going on?" Oh crap, I forgot all about her…I got rid of the idiots and told Elecman to fix his arm before he shoots something else and I'm surrounded by a horde of bots that have been offline for years…then I spoke to her.

"Uh…hi, I'm Bass…er…" Wow, this is hard, staring the second female robot I've ever seen, and Dr. Wily went and stole her from Light and pasted my ID on her…regardless, she smiled at me, kind of a nervous smile, and she asked, "Do you know who I am? I…I don't remember anything, well nothing except my name. It's Molly, by the way."

I don't know if this is good or bad…at least she doesn't remember that she belongs with Dweeb and crew, but what do I tell her? Okay, I need to pull something out of my ass here…she has no memory…she has my ID…I'VE GOT IT!

"Uh…I know plenty about you…after all, I _AM _your brother, yep, Big Brother Bass. Yep, you uh…suffered some trauma to your memory circuits and needed repairs…" Wait, that was a terrible idea. First of all, how stupid would she have to be to automatically believe that? Secondly, what, am I supposed to just…MAKE UP memories for her? She looked at me, deep in my eyes, oh boy, here it comes.

"Wow, I have a big brother, this is really cool! I want to hear all about you! All about myself! All about us bonding together!" This was working? Well…Dr. Light builds some damn naïve robots…so I said, "Uh yeah, sure, just let me fabricate…I mean…dig in my memory banks for a bit."

I walked back a bit, before she got up and hugged me. The action catching me off-guard, I fell back and tripped over something. She giggled a bit, as I asked, "What the hell was that?" We both looked back and she gasped happily at some dark blue mutt in a much smaller capsule. The dog looked a lot like Megaman's sappy pup, a bit smaller, longer tail, floppier ears, but that was about it.

"Know him," I asked before I realized that as her brother, I should have all the so-called memories of him. "Yep," she said with a big nod, "Testing me to see how much I remember, huh? That's Mickey, my dog." Have I ever said that Dr. Light's robots are way too naïve? Well it's true. I was still going along with it and said, "Well…we can see about getting him online."

Once more, Molly gasped happily and hugged me tightly, and well, since she's new…I won't hurt her for the blatant break in my personal space. Just then, I heard a foot tapping on the ground and I looked to the entrance to see Roll tapping her foot and WOW.

She…

Looks…

PISSED.

"Bass…who is this?"

My mind didn't register which one of the girls said it. Instead, I merely reasoned that we COULD have been on a date today, I'm not too sure, and we had to ditch it because Elecman found a girl who fell over with me while she was hugging me and now we're both on the ground with her arms around me…oh this must look _WONDERFUL_.

I quickly got up, almost throwing Molly off of me as I dusted myself off and said, "Creampuhhhhhh…" I would have finished, but her glare turned into something eviler, as if…had I finished that nickname, she'd kill me. Wait a minute, logic setting in. I might not be in my armor, but I'm still capable of lifting about two tons on my own, so why am I scared?

I rubbed my neck, getting a crick out as I said, "Listen, I don't know what the hell's going on through that naïve little mind of yours, but since you're here, Molly, meet Roll, Roll, meet my sister."

Roll seemed to calm down instantly, thank goodness, and she helped the girl to her feet and they got to yapping, telling the other of their respective situations while I brought her dog online, anything to keep problems off of me, but as soon as he came online, he bolted up and tackled me, licked my face, and ran off yipping like the dweeb's dog. I don't need this, I think I can just blow it's face off and tell her that her dog's really a sock puppet.

Before I could carry out my ingenious plan, Roll and Molly were already playing with the thing, so after making sure no one was paying attention to me anymore, I exited the room.

I took the time to inspect a few rooms, especially the reinforced one for Nuclearman in the event he…ya know, went nuclear, because that'd be REALLY bad in a confined spot like this. He says his blast radius is thirty feet, but…due to Robot Master stupidity, I bet he meant to say thirty MILES…so…we took extra steps to reinforce his room.

Arsenalman's room was simple. Just give him a normal room with all those random weapons of his strewn about, holstered on the walls. Cannons, rocket launchers, shotguns, swords, pikes, boomerangs, Gutsman's left boot, and a hot pocket were just a few of the weapons put up. Yeah, weapons of destruction everywhere, I like this room…hey…hot pocket…he won't be needing _THIS_…mmm…pepperoni.

Boltman…went all out on the Greek theme, I can't spend five minutes in there, so I walked right past it.

Smashman had a simplistic room filled with large boulders. The room was designed to look like a rock quarry, it even had a few pieces of construction equipment tossed around a bit.

Frankly, I never even went in Otakuman's room…because I can't stand him…him and his whole, "I refuse to die," routine of his. Regardless, I finally took a breath and stepped in. Oh boy, random pictures of me everywhere. Heh, one of me giving the finger on the ceiling. Is…is that a piece of my hair taped to the wall? How the hell'd he get that? Okay…slowly…backing out of here…before…I'm creeped out even more than I already am…

Okay, let's check out Photonman's room…which…is an exact replica of the bridge from the original Star Trek series…yikes, I have an army of weirdoes.

Overdriveman's room had the space for him to move around in, with a few columns in the room. At least he didn't model his room with hundreds of mirrors like that Bruce Lee movie…

Finally, Timeman's room. As I entered, I saw Timeman calmly sitting in the middle of it, but the room was flashing multiple colors. "What's…going on," I asked. Timeman looked back and replied, "Do you like? It's a giant mood ring!" I blinked a few times and asked, "Uh…is it…broken?" He didn't like that comment and started to swell with tears before harshly shouting, "OUT! GET OUT! I HATE YOU! I POSITIVELY HATE YOU! Oh what am I saying? You're awesome, you're Bass, you're the greatest!"

He was probably still ranting, but I'd left. I think I need a drink of something heavy…REALLY heavy…like coolant. Unfortunately, I was approached by Pirateman. "Look," I said, "I'm in the mood to drown my day in something strong enough to reset my internal memory, so why don't you leave me alone?" "Yar, look matey, I was just trying to inform ye of a development." "I know all about the girl, Pirateman, I left her with Roll." "Aye, but what will we be doing about the other lass?" The…other lass?

Trying not to fall into the same situation as last time, I brought Roll with me, and since I didn't feel like her wandering around by herself, I brought Molly and her damn hyperactive dog with me.

Sure enough, there she was, sleeping life away in a stasis capsule. Now, before anyone went about and opened her chest and started poking around, I uplinked with the adjacent computer and learned that…whoa…holy crap…holy crap on a Robot Master stick. Another girl…and built by WILY…I'm…experiencing some…some sort of emotion. I don't know what it is…it's not the guilt I was feeling when Roll saw me with Molly and took things the wrong way…no, it makes a lump in my neck, my knees are sort of weak…hmmm…I…I think it's called…nah, screw it.

"Okay everyone, back up and away before someone screws up and turns her on by accident." Roll walked in front of me and did that thing where she puffs her cheeks, trying to look imposing…it looks…cute. "Bass, how can you just leave her here? She deserves to be online, just like anyone else. Besides," She leaned over to the console I was linked to and gasped, "SWN-003! Molly said she was 002! That makes you 001! That makes her your youngest sister!"

Huh…as I checked…damn, she was right, great, now I have the makings of a family, yep, leaving this one offline. "CREAMPUFF, NO!" It was too late, she'd initiated the startup process. Halting it now would cause irreparable damage to her…oh boy. So a quick glance over…once again, hot chick, like I'm trapped in an anime. Sailor fuku dress, leave it to Wily to design a Japanese schoolgirl. She opened violet eyes, sat up, with long, blue hair. She looked around, smiled, then, all of a sudden, grabbed my Creampuff and pressed their lips together.

Now as a guy…this is freakin' awesome. As a male robot trapped in a castle full of guys…this is freakin' awesome. Being the one that actually sleeps with the Creampuff…this is freakin' awesome. Being…well…me…this is freakin' awesome. I see no downside to this…and with the length of this kiss, apparently Creampuff didn't either.

"Uhm…brother?" I looked to Molly. "Roll…short-circuited and I don't think our new sister realizes this yet." Wow, apparently being kissed by a girl actually was enough to fry Roll's logic center and give her a short-circuit. As I parted the two girls…which…was surprisingly difficult thanks to the grip of my as-of-yet named sister…who I'm guessing was built with somewhere around my level of strength. Joy.

Well I tried to sit Roll down…and she fell over. I picked her up, stood her up, leaned her against a wall….she fell over. I simply picked her up and held her while her systems rebooted…which I hope will be soon.

I looked to our newest member and asked, "And what should we call you?" "Arita," she replied, "Can I have her back please? She's soft." Wow, she keeps saying stuff that I can't reply to automatically. "Uh, sorry, I don't think you're her type." "Give her to me, I'll make me her type." Wow, she's as forceful as I am and into the rather rare commodity of female Robot Masters…yes, we're ALL technically Robot Masters, even Megaman…ugh.

Wow, this brings up the concept of the Robot Master Theory of Equilibrium that states for every Robot Master, there is an equal, yet opposite counterpart. For instance, someone as stupid as Gutsman has their mental match in the amazing computational skills of Elecman. Someone as violent, sadistic, and untrustworthy as Skullman meets their match in the honorable Swordman. And apparently someone so into guybots like Starman is matched in…Arita.

"Ngh, uh…mmmmm…" I looked down, Creampuff was waking up. She looked to me with a smile and said, "Hi, I had the weirdest dream." Arita smirked and said, "So I'm dreamy, eh?" "ACK!" Roll shouted, thrashing her limbs around, making me drop her. "That's not what I meant!"

Roll huffed and stormed off, Arita quickly following her, not caring about important things like…where she is, what's going on, oh, or her brother for that matter. Oh well. I had more important things to do.

More important things meant making sure, and I mean SURE that none of their special weapons were somehow the perfect counter for each other. We've tested before, but damn it, I wanted to make SURE! Next, I went over the Skullwarrior. You know, that's the standard mini-skullship that Wily falls back on, in the event that his plans go down the toilet…which they always do. He insisted that I take the stupid thing with me and well sure, I just had to make one modification…

"There," I said as I finished welding a giant, freakin' grate over the window. I don't know if you ever paid attention to these things, but for some odd reason, you can only pilot it with you head sticking out the window and likewise, it only takes damage if you get shot in the face. How getting shot in the face somehow damages the SHIP, I don't know. How Wily has survived years of being shot in the face by a buster, equally, I don't know.

Well enough work for the day. It was time to gather everyone and head home. After all, I was confident that the base was completed enough, so Bass Fortress was officially open for business.

It took about an hour to get home, even though it was a thirty minute ride…mainly I spent time making sure Skullman wasn't underneath the ship, because that guy's getting really creepy.

Now home, I greeted Wily in a way I should have done a LONG time ago. "Bass, how are you?" He started as I lifted up Tenguman, the frightened bird-bot shouting, "What is the meaning of this!?" Before either one of them knew it, I was beating Wily senseless, and let me tell you, it felt _GOOD_. Well it was until I noticed the girls gawking at me.

"What?" I calmly asked as I set Tenguman down. "Aww, why'd you stop?" Arita asked. Yep, she's got my take on things. But unfortunately, Molly and Roll saw it as unnecessary violence and actually took the time to mend Wily's wounds. Weirdoes.

I made myself a sandwich and went to my room, plopped on the bed, and enjoyed some silence. Afterwards, I helped myself to a cup of coffee—I'd recently installed my own personal percolator in the room, so coffee whenever I want, TOTALLY AWESOME—and I had a bit more silence.

The silence didn't last. First the door opens, then enters the Creampuff, Molly, Arita, Treble, Tango, and Mickey. They all begin talking to each other, or were already in conversation, I couldn't tell and wasn't going to pay THAT much attention to them. I notice that Tango has taken to lounging on top of Treble, who doesn't seem to mind, as long as the cat stays quiet. However, Mickey's moving way too much for Treble's taste and before long, my dog slaps him with a mighty paw.

As Mickey goes yelping to the other side of the room, it occurs to me what's going on. Creampuff has invited the girls into my room, since my room is the only one with locks and all the other Robot Masters really don't need access to female robots without…I don't know, orientation on how to deal with women.

I guess it's smart, but still, I'd prefer being talked to about who spends time in my room. So before we end up with some kind of horrid sleepover, I quickly enter my capsule, my soundproof capsule, and shut down for the night.

Well a few days gone by, a few things happened. One, the other girls have no sense of cooking skill, whatsoever. Granted, they're no Crashman, but give me Roll's cooking any day. Next, after two days of sharing my room, I personally knocked down the adjacent walls to my room, set up doors—with locks—between the rooms, and let them have their own rooms with locks to the outdoors.

Treble REALLY doesn't like Mickey, who doesn't seem to understand and just spends more time with my companion. Treble's taken to being vicious to the sappy dog, always barking or snarling anytime Mickey gets near.

Most important and most exciting, it's time. It's finally time to prove my superiority over Wily's schemes and stomp Megaman's face into the dirt!

I ditched the girls and proceeded to my Bass Fortress with my Robot Masters and did one last check over the design of my fortress.

"Are you sure these spikes are sharp enough," I asked. "Remember when that idiot, Dr. Eggman tried to kill Sonic and some of his spikes were just disguised springboards? I'd really hate it if we helped Megaman jump higher." Just then, I poked one of them, and like any time you touch spikes, you explode and die into a horde of brightly lit balls.

"BASS!" Everyone shouted as I pulled myself together. "What?" I asked the confused crowd, "I had an extra life." While nowhere near as advanced as Otakuman's repair features, Megaman and myself share nanotechnology that we refer to as extra lives that allow us to repair our destroyed bodies. Granted, I rarely use this, but it has its uses…like right now.

I sent my soldiers off to their respective rooms and assumed a chair with Elecman and Pirateman in my command center, my central room. From here, we could watch and dictate the battles as we seem fit. We could even activate traps at will. So…

Rader goes off. We look and see Megaman's teleport signature. He's heading for the front door like always. I press a button. Megaman appears on the ground just as a horde of spikes shoot up and kill him on the spot.

"UUAAGGH!!!!" He screams as he explodes into little blue balls.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!" All three of us shout as I rewind and play the scene again. Before long, Megaman comes back, teleporting in, JUST out of the range of my spike trap and enters the front door. He goes through a few corridors and approaches one of our patented reinforced shutter doors. Usually means a boss battle…except THIS time…Megaman runs right into a high energy output beam cannon. The little squirt is vaporized on the spot…my god this is funny.

Uh-oh, here we go. He's entered Smashman's room.

"PUNY SQUIRT! I'M GOING TO SMASH YOU!!!"

Smashman rushes Megaman, who has that look, you know the one where you have a deer in the headlights. Luckily or unluckily depending on how you look at it, Megaman avoids the behemoth.

Back and forth it is, for a while. I mean Smashman doesn't have that much of an imagination. Eventually, he…oh my god, what's he doing?

"SMASH! SMASH! SMASH!"

He's…he's smashing…_himself_…oh my god, where does Wily get the idea to build these things?! Well, before the dweeb absorbs whatever smashing powers Smashman had, I flipped a switch on my chair and BOOM, Smashman explodes…idiot.

Well with a confused Megaman on the move again, he arrived in Timeman's room.

"What the…" Megaman was mystified by all the swirling colors. Before he knew it, an angry Timeman tackled him and started kicking him madly. It didn't take much for Megaman to throw him off, but Timeman began to cry. "Hey, uh…it's…it's okay," Megaman soothingly said.

Megaman was soon given a big hug from Timeman and I started cursing things so vile that I had to delete them from my memory banks later. Somehow, this got Timeman moving again…I think, his power is freezing time…so time freezes…then unfreezes…then he's dead. I don't know what the hell happened.

Great, two Robot Masters down, one who's fight I mainly missed thanks to time powers…and Megaman probably absorbed that one. I was pissed, so when he entered the next room, I entered the code to drop the floor out, and BAM, indoor cliff.

Megaman teleports back in and before long, he gets to meet Overdriveman.

This is better, this is much better. Megaman can't lay a finger on this guy. Each second that goes by is another blow to his head or damaging fist to his side. Then, surprisingly, the dweeb manages to lay a charged buster shot that catches Overdriveman off-guard.

Overdriveman hits the ground hard and scrambles to his feet as that nitrous substance goes into his systems and once again, things happen that I can't see. First Timeman stops everything, now Overdriveman's working at such speed that the cameras can't keep up. I was getting frustrated, and I almost threw my chair when Megaman exploded. I MISSED IT!

"Yar," Pirateman said, "He be the first to actually KILL the blue land lubber!" Elecman looked over to Pirateman, "Do you even know what a lubber is?" "Ye-well…er…ye see, uhm…hey look, the blue one, he be back!"

Soon, Megaman returns. Megaman and Overdriveman charge each other. Then, like a frameskip, Overdriveman's dead and Megaman's leaving the room.

"What the hell!?" I shouted. "I guess Megaman's using Timeman's power to good effect," Elecman offered. "Yar, this be cheap," Pirateman retorted. "We dinnae even get to see the fight. It just up and be over, like some author trying to get out of writing in-depth fight scenes!" Elecman calmly looked over to Pirateman and asked, "Are you breaking the fourth wall?"

"Break the fourth wall?" Pirateman was confused, and in his confusion, attempted to do what Elecman proposed, launched a remote mine, and blew a wall. I had to smack him. "IDIOT! It's a term referring to when fictional characters remark about being fictional and acknowledging the world beyond them!" "We…be fictional?"

Ugh, I don't need to get into that philosophical existence crap. Even worse, I heard Photonman scream in agony and explode. "DUDE! LAME!" I shouted, "Photonman's dead and I didn't even get to see it!

Well next is Otakuman…who...went down damn quick to the dweeb before pulling himself together. Then he realized that Megaman was my greatest rival and…was far more interested in an autograph than killing him. Megaman spent thirty minutes signing random crap before offering Otakuman a nice, glowing football.

Wait a minute.

That's not a football…that's one of Photonman's photon charges. Oh boy. A deafening explosion ensued, reducing Otakuman to atoms…whoa, he pulled himself together. Huh, this might be a never-ending battle.

No, wait a minute, dweeb blew him to smithereens again…and this time leveled a chunk of the ceiling on top of Otakuman. Now with the ceiling on top of him…it doesn't look like Otakuman's getting up…I don't know if he's dead or not, but he's certainly stalled.

Now as time goes by, I manage to kill the dweeb again by getting him with a trick door, which isn't a door at all. It's a heavy-strength woodchipper. Yeah, he's scrap. Now let's wait as he comes back in…yep, there he goes.

Ah yes, he's made it to Arsenalman. Wait a minute…logic setting in...Arsenalman uses an arsenal…on the wall…which the dweeb can get ahold of. No dweeb, put down the rocket launcher. "NO, DWEEB! PUT DOWN THE ROCKET LAUNCHER!"

A deafening explosion.

Silence…

"He…used the rocket launcher."

"Thank you, Elecman, I CAN SEE HE USED THE DAMN ROCKET LAUNCHER! WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS WHO WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO PUT THAT IN THERE!" "Uhm, this may be just…a thought," Pirateman began, "But since everything had to be cleared by ye, and this is yer fortress, then by all means, shouldn't the person that approved this here bad concept be ye as well?"

I growled, my eyes lit up, and I loomed over Pirateman. "What did you say?" I asked, menacingly. "Er…totally Arsenalman's own fault it was. He be dead now, that's what he gets." "I thought so."

"Hey guys," Elecman spoke up. "He entered Boltman's room."

We all turned to the cameras. Megaman entered a completely dark room. Before he knew it, lighting struck the center and everything lit up. Boltman stood in the center and unsheathed his sword. "Megaman," he said as his sword brimmed with electricity, "Prepare to meet Zeus."

Whoa, he's actually serious, Overdriveman serious. He might actually, WHOA! He killed the dweeb with a powerful burst of lighting! Look at that dead body sizzle, awww…it exploded into the orbs.

Megaman came back, look of determination on his face. He tackled Boltman and wrested his sword free. Then as Boltman summoned lightning, Megaman impaled him with his own sword. Kind of a gory move, didn't expect it out of the dweeb. Well…this acts like a lightning rod and Boltman blows himself to hell.

Ugh, this is like that Metalman incident. You should remember the second Wily War. Metalman was an upgraded Cutman who shot the Metal Blade, a weapon so sharp that it actually killed Metalman in two hits. It REALLY SUCKS when a Robot Master is weak to HIS OWN weapon.

Damn it, I'm down to one Robot Master. Is this really as hard as Wily makes it look? Is the dweeb really some kind of unstoppable kill machine?

Oh hell, it's Nuclearman's time. Well…who knows, he might prove to be a miracle warrior. Nah, we're boned.

Nuclearman was ready and waiting and apparently shared Grenademan's penchant for taking pain, as he constantly ran INTO the shots Megaman was firing, all while lobbing off miniature nukes, making the entire fortress shake, but luckily, it was a sturdy build.

Finally, due to the poor strategy of going FOR the shots, rather than dodging them, Nuclearman lost and went critical. This made the entire foundation shake, blowing out power conduits, lights, cameras, everything. Cracks formed on some walls while others collapsed completely.

Thirty foot explosion, my ass. Wasn't even a thirty mile explosion! "How'd we survive that," Elecman asked. "That's easy," I said, "Got that special material designed to absorb radical kinetic energy. Most of the explosion was absorbed, but as you can see, we took some damage…more importantly, PREPARE FOR THE DWEEB!"

"Yar, I'll get the Skullwarrior ready!"

After Pirateman's comment, Elecman shouted, "I'll stall Megaman a bit!"

-Sigh-my entire plan is coming apart at the seams, all because one, Wily bots are apparent morons, and two, Megaman's a total kill machine.

Before long, I hear a blast and that signals the end of Elecman.

"YAR! HOW DO YE PILOT THIS THING!?" I see Pirateman flying around, ramming walls, the floor, columns, everything. "SERIOUSLY, MATEY! ALL THE CONTROLS ARE IN GIBBERISH AND COVERED IN SOME KIND OF…I THINK IT'S HONEY! NOT TO MENTION IT HAS FOUR PEDALS! I GET ACCELERATION AND BRAKE! WHAT ARE THE OTHER TWO FOR!?"

Leave it to Wily to make something completely illogical. No wonder I never use his gadgets. They cause chaos. Speaking of chaos, the Skullwarrior explodes, I guess because Pirateman hit his head against a wall too many times. Don't ask me why Wily's tech works the way it does.

Soon Megaman enters. "DWEEB!" I shouted. "BASS!" he returned as we ran to each other, weapons primed and ready. "WHERE'S WILY!? I'm saving the day and getting back my sister!" "Huh?"

I had to think back to when I challenged him. Oh right, the sock puppets. And he thought Wily and Roll had been hideously disfigured when our plan went south. I hit the dweeb. "THAT WAS ALL A LIE! This is all my plan, scan the place, you won't find a single organic here! NOW I'M GOING TO CRUSH YOU!"

"You mean…Roll isn't in danger?" I sighed and shook my head. "No, by the way, you should probably apologize or whatever, I don't know why you guys are fighting, but it would be great if you two got over it and she moved back in with you."

Sure, I'd be giving up good food, but I think she adds to the chaos, and I'd rather have less of it, thank you. Unfortunately, I made Megaman go back to whatever they fought about and for the first time in my life, I saw the dweeb smirk…SMIRK.

He walked to the entrance and said, "Well if you want to try to take over the world, don't use Wily's old fortresses. They all have this really neat flaw. Let me show you." He pressed a button on the wall, a big, red button that I can't believe I missed.

"**SELF DESTRUCT INITIATED!**"

"What?" I asked. He shrugged and said, "You know how all of Wily's bases tend to explode? He's got this button right by the entrance of all his fortresses." I stopped, tried to assert logic to it, couldn't. "WHY!?" I shouted. "I dunno," he replied, "But this place is going sky-high, I'd get out if I were you. Tell Roll I'm still mad at her."

He teleported out and left me to my fortress, collapsing in on itself as it counted down to destruction. I dropped to my knees and raised my fists to the sky. "WILY! IF I LIVE THROUGH THIS, I'M HURTING YOU WORSE THAN I'VE EVER HURT YOU BEFORE!!"

Somewhere, somehow, as he was sipping coffee, Wily's favorite mug cracked neatly in half, spilling coffee on him.

Megaman looked on as the entire place exploded. He examined the rubble and said, "Poor Bass, he didn't make it."

"Guess who."

"Huh?"

Megaman looked to me. I was battered and bruised from the explosion, but I didn't care as I knocked him off his feet. Now on the ground, all I could do, all my logic center said to do, was kick him, repeatedly, over and over again. Kick that shoddy frame he calls a body. BREAK THOSE RIBS! KICK MEGAMAN!

"I HATE YOU!"

-Kick-

"YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!"

-Kick-

"YOU'VE MADE MY LIFE AN ANNOYING AMALGAM OF HELL AND FRUSTRATION!"

-Kick-

"I THINK I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOUR SISTER!"

-Kick, Kick, KICK!-

The kicking went on for a few hours, I only stopped because the servos in my leg broke and it sorta just hung there. Figuring he had enough, I walked…er…hobbled away, then got really pissed and jumped him, beating him until I lost an arm servo. THEN I stopped and went home, a quick teleport since everything was trashed.

As I got in, a newly repaired Starman rushed to me, scooped me in his arms, and said, "Bass, oh baby, my sweet baby, you'll be okay. Momma will make it ALL better."

"Sta-Starman," I stuttered. "Yes, my sweet prince?" I grabbed him, pulled him to me, faces close together. He was blushing. "As soon as I stop hurting," I began, "I'm going to kill you. Then I'm going to kill Wily. The humanity, no, the world will benefit from the loss of his DNA."

As if on cue, Wily entered and gasped at my condition. "So uh, Bass," he started, "I take it you lost." "Yes, Doctor. I lost." "So, do you understand just how hard it is to beat the little blue boy?" I growled before saying, "I don't care at the moment. FIX. ME. NOW."

Then, Roll entered, a big smile on her face and a tray of food, "HI BASS, I MADE YOU SOME-" The Creampuff squeaked and dropped her tray, summoning a horde of Robot Masters that grabbed anything they could off the floor and ran off. "WHAT HAPPENED!?"

"Wily…is an idiot." That was all I could say as emergency protocols made me shut down…god I hate life. I hate each and every ounce of it.

----------

Ending Notes: Sorry this took so long and equally as sorry that Bass didn't actually beat Megaman…though he did assault him nicely.

Next time: Bass is feeling rather down, thanks to his defeat. In order to make him feel better, Roll decides to do something for him that he's never had before.

Diveman: OH! OH! SHE'S GOING TO SLEEP WITH HIM!

…She already does that.

Diveman: Yeah, but I meant with humping action.

Tenguman: Don't be ridiculous. She's not going to do that. She's OBVIOUSLY going to give him a statue of me. After all, there is no greater pleasure than looking upon my beautiful body.

Slashman: She's gonna wait until he's taking a shower, sneak up behind him, pull back the shower curtain, then SLASH, SLASH, SLASH!

Brightman: SHE'S GOING TO DO HIS TAXES!

Diveman: …Taxes?

Tenguman: What the hell's wrong with you?

Brightman: Uh…er…fifty bucks says nothing happened to nobody.

Tenguman, Slashman, and Diveman: DEAL!

Ugh, no you idiots. She's going to throw him his very first birthday party.

Brightman: Oh…that was my next guess.

Well regardless, read on for a little Bass Short and please review, even if it's hatred for how long I took to update! Though…now that I work in a daycare AND volunteer to tutor kids afterwards…I'll have less time to type, but it should be sooner than a few months before I update again…sorry, sorry, sorry once more. Seriously, if it seems like I'm taking too long, I probably am and there's only one solution…complain about it, get me motivated.

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A Bass Short:

Bass yawned, polishing his shoulder as he walked down the hall of Wily Castle, only to see Timeman and Timeman II (The one Dr. Light built), holding hands, seemingly frozen.

"What the hell?" Bass asked as Wily only made a, "Hmm." Bass scowled. "Hmm, what?" "Well, I'm no insane mad genius, but I think their temporal powers have caused a sort of…distortion."

Bass yawned as he moved to poke the frozen duo. "And what does that mean, Doc?"

"BASS! NO!"

It was too late, as Bass tapped them, BAM, he was gone and Wily gulped. "Roll's going to kill me." "Why would I do that," Asked the cute girl in question, entering the hallway. "Uh…no reason, my dear." Roll looked over and asked, "What's with them?" "Frozen in time," Wily replied before adding, "DON'T TOUCH!"

Just then, in a burst of light, Bass reappeared, laughing maniacally, holding his sides as he rolled around on the floor.

"BASS!" Wily shouted, "YOU'RE ALIVE!" Likewise, Roll shouted, "YOU THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD!?"

Bass didn't hear either, he was still laughing his ass off.

"What's so funny?" Wily finally asked.

"Get-haha-get this, I got zapped from time period to time period. First to 21XX, where humans have lost a chunk of their population and their protected by Megaman X, DWEEB 2.0! Then, in 22XX, Humans are even less in number, being protected by a copy, DWEEB 3.0 and 4.0! I got BLASTED 3000 years later and what do I learn? Humans don't even exist anymore! The last human lived on some space colony and what did their Megaman do? He brought the last human to the surface of Earth, where, without the life support systems of his precious station, he DIED."

Bass began laughing again as he said, "Don't worry, there's a horde of human clones. Still, don't you see the pattern, as time goes by, you have Megaman and less and less humans. My assumption, THE DWEEB IS THE WORST HERO EVER! Doc, we can go ahead and stop the evil scheme thing! The dweeb will kill everyone for us!"

Dr. Wily stopped and pondered this, before long, joining his creation in laughing maniacally, while Roll sighed and said, "Men…" before going on her way.

-End-


End file.
